Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Control August 16, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 8:32 pm

I like plans.
I like making plans.
I like planning how the day will progress.
Often these plans will be thought out days in advance, planned down to the last teeny tiny detail.

I remember my mum telling me a few years ago about what I would often say as we sat down to a dinner that I particularly liked…. “You know, this is yummy, but you know what would be good for tomorrow night’s dinner…”. That was when I was about 6 or 7, and its only gotten worse since then.
Not only do I like making plans, but I also like to “be prepared”. As in be prepared for anything that might maybe could possibly happen at any given moment. What if something happens and if you had just brought that extra something, all catastrophes could have been averted? I know that if I don’t bring lip gloss with me, my lips will become drier then they have ever become in my whole life, dry like the Sahara and I will likely be somewhere where lip gloss is not availible for purchase. If I don’t bring a sweater with me everywhere, I will freeze to death, even though I live in Florida and this is highly unlikely. I even bring one over to my in-laws house, the temperature of which is always hovering around 95 degrees and you break into a sweat the second you near their front door…
So its best just to make sure you have all of these thing…. just in case….

Since having a baby, the urge to be prepared has reach epic spastic proportions. Being unprepared while out in public with a small child is just inviting disaster. If you forget to bring wipes, that child will spit up all over you and anyone within reach. If you leave the house without extra diapers, you are guaranteed to go through them at an alarming rate, leaving you quickly with none and a child with a furious red grunting face. So I carry a well stocked diaper bag…

But what I like more, more than making plans months in advance…. more than being prepared for any possible catastrophe is making lists.

Oh do I ever like making a good list!! In fact I love it! Its so very satisfying to write down things and cross them off. I assign them numbers, sometimes letters. I underline the parts that are really important. I like to make my lists in pen, and if I make a mistake I tear off that offending piece of paper and start anew. And that is even more satisfying. Clearly I have control issues, but I’m ok with that. So is my husband…

So here is a list of the other things that I like, presented to you in a simple easy-to-read format….no dashes, no numbers or letters… just things that I enjoy:

That rice pudding that my old Danish rooom-mate used to make.
Updating my facebook status
Zombies
Crocheting, or attempting to crochet anyways. I do straight lines really well…
Kitchy tourist attractions
Trashy British novels (not American ones at all)
My husbands cooking skills
Being right all the time, even when I am wrong.
Being pleasantly suprised at the fact that not everyone I went to high school with is a total bitch/jerk
Cleaning up a particularly messy diaper
Filling out tedious paperwork/forms
Reading endless celebrity gossip
British humour
A nice glass of wine
Really really stinky cheese (the stinkier the better!)

And things I dislike as well:

People who use their hazard lights when they are not in any car trouble, and are in fact double parking
People who don’t like the way I drive (which is perfect, thank you very much)
Liver (and organ meat in general)
People who don’t say “Bless you” when someone sneezes (Its just 2 words!)
The fact that there are still people from high school that are still bitches/jerks
High school
Tourists (I live in Orlando….sigh…)
Excess of use of plastic bags in the States (my magazine does not need its own bag thank you!!)
Spiders
Fake smiles
Talking animals in movies (why?? why!)

How deeply satisfying making lists are…

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One Response to “Control”

  1. Mr. F. McNeil Says:

    Excellent work.

    You have a real gift with words. I am truly impressed with your way of expressing your unique outlook on life. I have no doubt that your creativity combined with your undying love of organization will lead to many more splendid entries.


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