Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Peas April 14, 2009

Filed under: peas,random,Spring,threw up on — Ohdeerestme @ 10:27 pm
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peas-blog

Two weeks ago I got thrown up on twice… and what’s sad about that is the first time I didn’t even notice.

Last week someone (thanks Joa!) pointed out that the back of my hoodie was covered in baby spit-up. Spit-up, I might add, that was old, clearly had been there for several weeks and pretty much covered my whole back. Like a car that had been parked under a street-lamp near the beach, covered in Seagull poo. COVERED.

This past weekend, V and I were out shopping when I noticed his little face was covered in peas. The peas he had had for lunch, which apparently I hadn’t wiped up as efficiently as I thought I had. Covered in peas, out shopping with Mummy.

And then I noticed that I was also covered in peas, all over my shorts (shorts that I now fit into, 10 months post-baby hurray!!!!!) and some smears on my hands and arms.

What on earth was I doing when I was feeding him? And how did I not notice?

Regardless, I didn’t even care. Peas on my shorts, don’t care.

Smeared all over me? Also don’t care.

Spit-up all over me? Just rub it in….. no-one will notice, especially if the shirt has a pattern on it.

I know you mums know what I am talking about.

Cheers to us who dare to venture out, foodstained and all and don’t care. Hurray for stains on our pants, face and caked food on our hair!

Yay permanent formula stains on our bras! And hurray for sticky spots on our arms and feet.

(for a cute blog about knitting and babies… check this out…)

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
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southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,  check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?

 

Peeps April 12, 2009

Filed under: Canada,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 8:30 pm
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I get frustrated with myself when I feel writers block coming on. I mean, I set aside a specific time to write and fully believe I should be able to come up with something terribly clever in that time frame.pink_peeps-blog1

Tonight, however, I am feeling the pressure. And that pressure is the lure of the sofa in the living room with my husband comfortably ensconced on it, all ready to queue up the blue-ray player. Plus the pressure of Monday looming on the horizon. It is not that I dislike Monday’s, per se….. just that this weekend, it arrived rather quickly.

It is now 8:01 pm.

I can hear V’s lullabies through the baby monitor as I sit here in the dark of the bedroom and type this nonsense. It’s very soothing, and I feel my mind drifting. 8:03. That took 2 minutes to write. Shit.

Probably that drift is being helped along by the 3 sugar-rimmed cocktail glasses full of Cosmo’s that my husband made at his parent’s house for me. They were so pink and delicious. Like eating Peeps. Not, actually, that I think they are delicious. But they can be pink, some people think they are delicious and they would have looked adorable mounted on the side of a Cosmo. Anyways, they suited Easter just fine.

Peeps.

Amazing things.

Amazing things that people think up to do with them.

Have you been here? You should. Every day the Internet is a learning experience for me.

8:05. Shit. Shit.

Probably they are also contributing to my mild profanity.

8:07. Sh*t. Times 3.

I have given myself a time limit of 8:15, and have approximately 6 minutes left.

Quick!! Come up with something clever!

Blank. Literally, I am watching the clock change minutes, and then cursing under my breath. Clearly this will be a no picture blog. This post might be worse than last nights?

Bikram yoga tomorrow night. Any bets on what colour spandex my favorite classmate will be wearing? Pale yellow? Light orange?  Light pink? Gosh, I can hardly stand the wait.

Self imposed time limit has expired. I would totally get my pencil taken away from me if this was one of those grade 12 Provincial exams in the gym.

Way past the dead-line now. Too much time spent looking at Peeps website.

 

Google or I am tired on Saturday night April 11, 2009

Filed under: busy,fancy,Mad skills,random,Uncategorized,whole foods — Ohdeerestme @ 10:34 pm
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I dyed Easter Easter eggs for the first time in maybe 25 years.

I did not make these...

I did not make these...

I am tired.

What?!

What?!

Whole Foods is a crack-like addiciton.

Whole food google result

Whole Foods google result

People are too excited about eating yogurt.

How ‘Hannah Montana The Movie’ got the tag “best movie of the year’ I will never know

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

And a lovely website I found while google-ing ‘Billy Rae Cyrus mullet’….. this might be the oddest thing ever. Be sure to read their ‘FAQ’s’. You will learn sooooooo much

 

Tech-spazz April 10, 2009

Filed under: annoying,chihuahua,V — Ohdeerestme @ 11:01 pm
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Literally I just hauled my sorry ass out of bed to write this post. It won’t be long, or pretty, but for the love of God, it will get written.

I am technologically retarded. I swear this is true. I just spent at least an hour writing a awesome post, only to have it deleted through my poor wordpress navigating. Twice. So whatever essence was left in the 2nd post (or what I tried to resurrect) is now totally gone. It’s down to the bare bones.

I love my son more than anything in this world. Pretty much that sums up what I was trying to write about. All about how I can’t sleep until I check (for the billionth time) that he is breathing. Which he always is. Thank god.

I was so annoyed that I gave up and went to bed. And just as Chewie the Chihuahua curled up next to me, I said ‘Screw this.” , hopped out of bed and am currently writing this in the dark in my bedroom in my pj’s. Or what qualifies for pj’s in Florida when it’s like 80 degrees outside and you are sweating with the airconditioning on .

Annoyed with myself. Totally.

In love with V. Always.

Suddenly finding myself with a  craving for Brownies Chicken. WTF? Where on earth did that come from. See what my brain does while I type? No wonder I erased this twice already.

It still exists, right? Up north on Vancouver Island? I googled to no avail..chicken-blog

Back to bed and Chewie, who is waiting patiently for me…chicken-blog1

 

West Coast love April 9, 2009

Filed under: Canada,cousin,West Coast,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:26 pm
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yoga-blog

I feel like I have been slightly neglectful of writing this week.

Now that I have a few moments to myself, my thoughts feel a little overwhelmed. So many things fighting to get out, I just know nothing is going to be coherent at all. But perhaps that is just all the time anyways…. My brain tends to run ahead of my mouth, and I assume that everyone is on the same wavelength as me and is following along.

My new interest in Bikram yoga is straightening my spine and filling my mind with healthy thoughts. My muscles ache, but I feel tall. And strong. And clean.

It’s a West Coast sort of feeling. A nice granola-y, wheat grass drinking, portabello mushroom burger-eating, organic cotton-wearing, Patchouli smelling, soy bean, miso soup, vegan soap-using feeling.

I think part of it has to do with my cousin moving to Central Florida. Funnily enough, who would have thought out of the 4 cousins the 2 of us would end up living in Florida when we were adults. I think it’s the most bizarre of coincidences. But then, since considering our family, I wonder why I am surprised. But I think it is a fantastic thing.

Cousin dear and I are at opposite sides of the cousin age group. I am the oldest and she is the youngest. Somehow though, we have a ridiculous amount in common. Of course it’s family bond and all that, but more as well. And I am so happy that she moved from the East coast.

And so happy that she let me drag her to Bikram. Where she sweated, cursed me and denounced our bloodline. I know she still loves me. And I hope she knows how much I love her and am glad that she is here and part of my life. Love you Cuz. Not like this…. I just love you…

 

Mad skills April 5, 2009

Filed under: beer,M,Mad skills — Ohdeerestme @ 8:05 pm
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ironing-blogYesterday morning I went to check the mail while walking Chewie and carrying V. M was not awake yet (sleeping off the 18 hour day he had finished a few hours before).

For some reason I really get my kicks out of checking the mailbox. I love getting letters, really of any sort. At our last apartment for some reason we only had one mail key (why we never got another one, I will never know), but I would literally fight M for it, wrestle it out of his fingers and dash down the 2 flights of stairs (we lived on the 3rd floor) in my joyous anticipation of checking out mailbox. Now this was early in my days of living in Florida, and so I usually would have a delightful card/little package/something lovely in that box from Canada waiting for me. How terribly exciting it was to check the mail!

So my hands full with V and Chewie’s leash, I unlock our mailbox and reach in… It’s stuffed full! Mostly circulars, a few bills, the latest US magazine and a tubular package about 12 inches long…. Just seeing it peeking out of my mailbox got me all excited (tubular things do that to me), so I took it out (it took me about 3 minutes to write those 5 words… I erased ‘pulled it out’ and then giggled for the remaining 2:50 seconds) and saw that it was addressed to me. Well, it was sort of addressed to me.

Actually it was addressed to ‘Jaime McPhooferpantsbum Melvin’. For real. Oh, that husband of mine.

He thinks he’s so funny. I should have known that this was coming when I received that tutorial DVD on ‘How to Iron’ addressed to Jaime McPooter Melvin. I know how to iron, thank you very much.

So, home I went with V, leash, circulars, bills and the tube. I unlocked the front door, deposited V in to his Jumparoo and went and got some scissors to open this silly package.

A set of four plastic George Killian’s Irish Red beer tasting glasses and an official ‘Premium Lager’ key chain that conveniently doubles as a bottle opener. Plus instructions on how to taste beer properly (to get your own beer tasting kit, click link above and check it out).

Hil-are-E-ous.

Well, now I know how to iron properly and can taste beer like a real man can (or whatever…. or whoever for that matter)

And M still thinks he is the funniest person ever…. and warned me that there might be more things to follow in the mail soon….. geez….. I hope he is a little more creative with the names!

 

Bloody noses (and crocheting)

Filed under: Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 12:16 am
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Sadly enough I am starting another craft project.

Not that I have actually finished the blanket I was working on or anything…. I am just having problems with it. So instead of starting over with it, I am putting it aside for the time being and starting completely over with brand new yarn (but the exact same pattern).

This is my M.O.

I feel guilty about giving up, so I don’t….. I put it ‘on hold’ and move on to something else. I really do mean to come back to it (I love the colours in the last project).

Anyways, so I am trying a thinner yarn, a smaller crochet hook but am still using the same pattern which is called “Waves” and looks like it will be quite pretty when it’s done.

I really will finish this one…… for real.

Anyways, so that was one of our errands today, running to Michael’s and picking out some new yarn with V. My colour choice was partially decided by the ball of wool V grabbed and stuffed in his mouth.

Anyways, after all of this craftiness we swung by Gramma and Pop-pop’s for a little visit.

V loves playing at their house, probably because it’s so much bigger than our apartment, and more people pay attention to him.

He was playing away on the floor and somehow slipped and fell, banging his face on the hard tile floor.

Instant screams and sad little boy face. Tears streaming. Gramma reached him first, grabbed him and instantly soothed him (he loves his Gramma) with this lovely Italianism “Do you want a cookie??”. It worked, he got a treat and everything was fine…. He is soooo his daddy’s boy!

He was munching away on his little treat, when I noticed that it had turned pink… which was odd, since there was no reason it should have. And that’s when I realized that it was blood.

He must have hit his nose when he fell, and with a closer look I realized that there was a smudged trickle of blood on his upper lip. Poor boo, his first accident.

M arrived soon after, I told him about the whole thing and his response was “Really??? Awesome!! His first accident!! Did you take a picture of the blood??”

Men…..

 

Love Affair April 3, 2009

Filed under: gators,Spring,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 12:20 am


Still feeling the effects of Bikram on my poor body, I gave it a pass today and decided to go for a run instead.

I ran past the ducks, the hibiscus blossoms, the gator pond, the gang in blue tee-shirts on their BMX bikes, the golf course, turned around and ran past it all again.

As I pushed open the pedestrian gate of my apartment complex and hit the sidewalks of my community, I took a deep breath of the fresh spring air.

The scent of blossoms, fresh air and growing things clung to my skin like someone elses cologne. It was like I had just gotten back from a tryst with nature.

That’s right…… I am having a love affair with Spring…

 

Bikram Post Script April 2, 2009

Filed under: holy mother,spandex,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 1:05 am


Addendum…

Walking into the yoga studio yesterday, I glanced around the room and tried to decide where to put my mat and towel. Not too close to the mirror and not in the back corner so as to seem unsocial. I settled for the middle.

I rolled my mat out, draped my towel over it (sweat catcher), sat down and glanced around the room.

Some young girls were positioned close to the mirror, a middle-aged woman was next to me and there was a naked man laying face-down on his mat next to me. With a closer look, it was clear he wasn’t totally naked. Just dressed in skin-tight cream coloured spandex short athletic shorts. With no shirt on.

I am sure you can understand my confusion.

Anyways, the class started, we started doing breathing exercises and began the first few moves. I was watching my poses in the mirror when my gaze swept sideways for a second.

Full-on sweaty package in plain sight reflected in mirror.

Every detail outlined.
Holy mother.
Not what I want to see in yoga class.

But he was so earnest.

And as the class progressed, we all got sweatier and sweatier and his spandex defined more and more.

The class went on, I forgot about it but remembered as soon as the class was over and my neighbour in his practically see-through spandex picked up his mat and headed out of the studio.

Note to self: cream-coloured spandex not a good choice for any exercise at all