Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Anniversary April 18, 2009

Filed under: dancing,happy,holy mother,M,Uncategorized,V — Ohdeerestme @ 10:05 pm
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nodancing-blog

In one week, Mike and I will have been married for 4 years. In honour of our anniversary I am actually using his real name, but probably I will continue to call him ‘M’ in upcoming posts.

4 years is a big deal to me.

1 year away from 5 which feels like a huge landmark.

Almost 1 year since Vincent was born and we ate French food for our 3rd anniversay at a restaurant who’s slogan is ‘Bon appetite, y’all!”.

6 1/2 years since we have been together in total.

3 years since I moved to Florida.

Almost 3 years since my 30th birthday, when I ate amazing sushi and then got super drunk at a downtown bar and made an ass out of myself (as I have been known to do).

4 1/2 years since we left Japan. Holy. Moly.

8 years since I graduated from University with a degree that I don’t really use. My dream job was organizing exhibits for museums. Any museum. Well, maybe not a bug museum or something like that…..

11 years since I went dancing for the first time. Yes, thats right. I didn’t dance until I was 22. Just too wholesome, I guess…..

15 years since I graduated from High School. Which means that my 20 year reunion is coming up in the next few years. Interesting.

1 month since I started Bikram yoga. And 1 month since I started feeling more relaxed.

10 months since Vincent was born. And about 6 hours since I seriously started thinking about how much he would like a little sister (a sister, I might add, whose name has been picked out for about 6 months).

12 hours since I realized that I do indeed have Mike’s cold. Damn.

And about 2 minutes since I also realized that I should be in bed….

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True story (creepy post-script)

Filed under: creepy,late night,V — Ohdeerestme @ 11:09 am
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creepyphone-blogI woke up at 12:30 last night…. V has a little cold and was a bit congested and as a result he woke up crying a few times.

12: 30 was one of them.

As I rolled out of bed and started making my way down the hall I noticed that the toy bin was flashing. I leaned over to peek in and all of the lights on the telephone were flashing.

AND it was talking.

I swear to god it said “Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop…”

I carried it out of my bedroom by the plastic anntenae with the sounds of my son crying and the telephone repeating “Stop stop stop” mingling together

I deposited it on the kitchen table and will have Mike take it out with the trash when he leaves for work this afternoon. I can’t handle the creepy vibe anymore….

 

Creepy April 17, 2009

Filed under: creepy,holy mother,tired,Uncategorized,what the? — Ohdeerestme @ 10:08 pm
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creepy-blogI have a little toy basket in our bedroom for the odd toys that end up in our room.  I think currently there is a plushie fish, a bear and a plastic telephone.

The telephone has little pictures on the buttons and talks when you push them.

“Car”

“Baby”

“Cup”

And in spanish too!

It makes animals noises too. It meows and barks and growls. V loves it and gnaws away on it, pushing the buttons with his face and teeth.

I think it’s been in the bedroom for about a week or so. Last weekend it started meowing during the night. Woke me right out of a dead sleep.

I lay there, half awake wondering what on earth I had heard that had woke me up. I am such a light sleeper since V entered our life, I wake up at a heavy sigh.

Anyways, it meowed. Repeatedly. Often enough that I remembered it in the morning. I turned it off sometime during the night and thought that was the end of it.

The other night I noticed a dull light emanating from the toy bin. With a closer look, I realized that it was the telephone. One of the buttons was lit up. The one that has a picture of a baby on it. And the power was off.

And then it started meowing again. I ignored it. It happened with less frequency. I forgot.

And then last night it meowed again.

What the heck? I mean seriously!! I turned it off! It is off! OFF! Why is it still meowing!

Clearly it is possessed. It is some kind of Stephen King-cat possessed telephone. Our apartment complex must be built over a pet cemetary or something. (Thanks Shannon for your cat-possessed phone!)

And yet after a week and a half of this meowing telephone…. it is still in our bedroom. Too much work to move it.

 

Peas April 14, 2009

Filed under: peas,random,Spring,threw up on — Ohdeerestme @ 10:27 pm
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peas-blog

Two weeks ago I got thrown up on twice… and what’s sad about that is the first time I didn’t even notice.

Last week someone (thanks Joa!) pointed out that the back of my hoodie was covered in baby spit-up. Spit-up, I might add, that was old, clearly had been there for several weeks and pretty much covered my whole back. Like a car that had been parked under a street-lamp near the beach, covered in Seagull poo. COVERED.

This past weekend, V and I were out shopping when I noticed his little face was covered in peas. The peas he had had for lunch, which apparently I hadn’t wiped up as efficiently as I thought I had. Covered in peas, out shopping with Mummy.

And then I noticed that I was also covered in peas, all over my shorts (shorts that I now fit into, 10 months post-baby hurray!!!!!) and some smears on my hands and arms.

What on earth was I doing when I was feeding him? And how did I not notice?

Regardless, I didn’t even care. Peas on my shorts, don’t care.

Smeared all over me? Also don’t care.

Spit-up all over me? Just rub it in….. no-one will notice, especially if the shirt has a pattern on it.

I know you mums know what I am talking about.

Cheers to us who dare to venture out, foodstained and all and don’t care. Hurray for stains on our pants, face and caked food on our hair!

Yay permanent formula stains on our bras! And hurray for sticky spots on our arms and feet.

(for a cute blog about knitting and babies… check this out…)

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
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southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,  check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?

 

Peeps April 12, 2009

Filed under: Canada,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 8:30 pm
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I get frustrated with myself when I feel writers block coming on. I mean, I set aside a specific time to write and fully believe I should be able to come up with something terribly clever in that time frame.pink_peeps-blog1

Tonight, however, I am feeling the pressure. And that pressure is the lure of the sofa in the living room with my husband comfortably ensconced on it, all ready to queue up the blue-ray player. Plus the pressure of Monday looming on the horizon. It is not that I dislike Monday’s, per se….. just that this weekend, it arrived rather quickly.

It is now 8:01 pm.

I can hear V’s lullabies through the baby monitor as I sit here in the dark of the bedroom and type this nonsense. It’s very soothing, and I feel my mind drifting. 8:03. That took 2 minutes to write. Shit.

Probably that drift is being helped along by the 3 sugar-rimmed cocktail glasses full of Cosmo’s that my husband made at his parent’s house for me. They were so pink and delicious. Like eating Peeps. Not, actually, that I think they are delicious. But they can be pink, some people think they are delicious and they would have looked adorable mounted on the side of a Cosmo. Anyways, they suited Easter just fine.

Peeps.

Amazing things.

Amazing things that people think up to do with them.

Have you been here? You should. Every day the Internet is a learning experience for me.

8:05. Shit. Shit.

Probably they are also contributing to my mild profanity.

8:07. Sh*t. Times 3.

I have given myself a time limit of 8:15, and have approximately 6 minutes left.

Quick!! Come up with something clever!

Blank. Literally, I am watching the clock change minutes, and then cursing under my breath. Clearly this will be a no picture blog. This post might be worse than last nights?

Bikram yoga tomorrow night. Any bets on what colour spandex my favorite classmate will be wearing? Pale yellow? Light orange?  Light pink? Gosh, I can hardly stand the wait.

Self imposed time limit has expired. I would totally get my pencil taken away from me if this was one of those grade 12 Provincial exams in the gym.

Way past the dead-line now. Too much time spent looking at Peeps website.

 

Google or I am tired on Saturday night April 11, 2009

Filed under: busy,fancy,Mad skills,random,Uncategorized,whole foods — Ohdeerestme @ 10:34 pm
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I dyed Easter Easter eggs for the first time in maybe 25 years.

I did not make these...

I did not make these...

I am tired.

What?!

What?!

Whole Foods is a crack-like addiciton.

Whole food google result

Whole Foods google result

People are too excited about eating yogurt.

How ‘Hannah Montana The Movie’ got the tag “best movie of the year’ I will never know

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

And a lovely website I found while google-ing ‘Billy Rae Cyrus mullet’….. this might be the oddest thing ever. Be sure to read their ‘FAQ’s’. You will learn sooooooo much