Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Consider this… July 15, 2009

change-blog

I am considering making some more changes to my blog…..

This is an ongoing thing with me, as I try to improve and expand etc etc

One of the biggest changes I am comtemplating is a name-change.

So far I have one idea…. message me if you want to hear more *hint hint*

 

WME July 13, 2009

happybaby-blog

I got home today thinking that things were pretty much in order….

Sped home, picked up V, dashed to Publix and got home at a reasonable time. 6 pm. Not too shabby!

Dinner preparations began. First some peas….

I heated them up, cooled them off a little, walked over to him and slowly spilled them onto his highchair top. He giggled. I guess the sight of all those peas rolling around was quite funny.

Peas are his new favorite vegetable to eat whole. He happily picks them off his tray and stuffs them into his little mouth. During this stuff-in time, I add some cubed Edam cheese while I heat up a veggie pattie in the microwave.

My new favorite foods for him are from *surprise* WholeFoods! I know thats a huge shocker… But they do have the best gluten/wheat free selection I have found in town, and also have an interesting selection of gluten-free toddler food.

My current favorite? HappyBaby‘s HappyBites. The veggie-tots are what are currently swinging around our kitchen…

I cooled the veggie-tot down on the counter, but pick up and hand delivered it to V’s table, to his apparent delight.

One piece in. No problem. And chewed to evident delight.

Number 2 hit that little mouth and the screams that issued after could seriously have woken the dead. I spun around, only to see V clawing at his little mouth.

Oh. My. God.

I quickly figured out that it was just too hot for that tender little palate. I swear I temperature tested it before hand…. bad mummy. I felt so horrible. That little face was so red and those little eyes were clenched shut. I did an ‘extraction’…. which means that I scooped that little mess right out of his mouth. Oh man. There was a hidden chunk of potato that was hotter than everything else. Oh that poor little mouth…

But problem solved… he has such a good temperament that he quickly moved past it and went on to stuff something else in there. Oh great. Same thing. Veggie tots. Hot.

Scream. Wail. Shriek. Claw at face. Turn red. Awesome.

By this time I was almost crying myself…. more mad at myself than anything. How could I have missed that piece that was slightly hotter than everything else? So much for my temperature testing skills…..

And then…..*sigh* it happened again.

Clearly I can’t tell temperature at all. Seriously!

This time it was so hot that those little chubby fists shook with frustration while those finger tried to claw everything out of that mouth.

Again, how did I miss this. Or was it just hot enough that, piled on top of the other hot things it pushed everything over the limit.

I felt awful. AWFUL.

Bad mummy. I completely checked everything temperature-wise…. perhaps I just…. oh… I don’t know…. I still feel awful. I gave him some ice-cream to cool that little mouth of his down. We brushed his teeth and off he went to bed.

Worst Mummy Ever. Total WME event. Embarrassingly enough, on top of all of this I felt the need to share this with random Internet-slash-family.

Clearly I am just looking for punishment…

 

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

 

Potato (PoTAto) June 30, 2009

potato-blog

Potato. Sometimes I hate you.

I really love you. Mashed. Fried. Hashed. Deep-fried. Really however you are served. Boiled too.

This evening I arrived home from work to find dinner preparations in full swing. Things were being boiled and stirred in the kitchen. Pans were being rattled around. The tap was being turned on and off. Repeatedly. And V was wailing away in his high-chair, clutching his bottle, naked (except for a diaper) with his damp hair sticking up…

Apparently he had just had a bath. And M thought it would be a good idea to stick him in his high-chair diaper-clad.

And then make him mashed potatoes.

Now I know more women than men are reading this. Well, I am pretty sure anyways….. But lets follow the logic on this one….. fresh from the tub, squeaky-clean, that lovely baby smooth skin…

I am sure that the first thing that you are thinking about is how feeding your child mashed potatoes without a bib is maybe the best idea ever!

I returned from my run (luckily) just post-potato fest.

V. Was. Covered.

Hair. Toes. Diaper. High chair. Diaper. Nose (up). Face. Ears. etc etc.

I carried him to the bathroom at arms length, and stripped him down on the bath mat. A trail of mashed potato followed us, quickly eaten by Chewie. A little got rubbed into the bathmat I bought from Ikea a few weeks ago. Potato plus lime green equals poor colour management. Anyways, happily the tub was still full.

Oh wait. I mean unhappily it was still full of dirty, brown cold water. Awesome. So a naked V happily played with cold mashed potatoes that were flaking off his body on our bathroom floor, while Mummy refilled the tub. I might have cursed M just a little. I might have ended up with potato in my hair. And somehow in my armpit…. not sure how it got there, but I am not surprised. Things seem to turn up unexpectedly these days. Zucchini in diaper, potato in armpit. That’s how it goes….

We are still running in full-on teething mode. 4 coming in. Drool. Tantrums ahoy! And the most awesome crying, flailing back-bends you have ever seen in your life!!

Good times over here in Orlando… I think it might take a while until I love potato again…

 

Toys June 28, 2009

Filed under: bed-time,books,clean,Daddy,family,Mummy,parenting,toys — Ohdeerestme @ 10:21 pm
Tags: , , , ,

toys-blog

As I look over at my exhausted Chihuahua as he sleeps in his cat-bed, I notice a plastic cow in front of his little bed. My house has suddenly become over-run with toys and I am not sure how this happened.

And when did our dog get so tired? Perhaps when V started following him around waving his dog toys in front of his little dog face? Maybe then….

There was a time, I think it was when V didn’t wiggle around as much. But, regardless, there was a time when we had about 4 toys. And they didn’t make any noise. Then my bf gifted us with a few extra things from her house, which we thought was great!After all, we thought, we have NO toys. We NEED toys.

And then a little while later, Target opened a Super-Target about 1 block from my office. Once or twice a week I would head over there with the pretense of buying ‘groceries’, that really means formula, diapers, clearance items and little toys. I think I ‘little toy’-ed us to death.

Oh, and then it was Christmas, and then it was Easter, and then some family visited. And then V turned one. And then I went to Ross every week for 4 months and bought him books (as he didn’t have any books). Now he has a lot of books. And pj’s.

And this last week, when V unveiled his new talent of A) removing all items from any shelf within reach (oh how great that I decided to put  half of his books on a shelf in our living room!) and 2) removing any toys one by one from any storage container that they are placed in and C) screaming when you return them to said storage location….. that is when I decided that we have too many toys. And things. And need a separate room for all of these things.

And so we are buying a house.

Not that we have found a house to buy, but we are looking seriously and buying seriously too…. (we do everything very seriously. We are frighteningly serious people. And also frighteningly sarcastic as well) before the end of the year. And it’s all because of V. And his toys. Not really.

It is because of me. Well, the book situation is anyways…. I can’t resist. I still think books are the best toys ever. For anyone really. I think it is the nicest present to give someone, well, only if you know them fairly well….. and they have time to read. So maybe don’t work full-time and have 2 kids under 5…..

So little toys are everywhere over here. Plastic cows, Elmo books, wagons, numerous plastic hammers (w/sound effects), over-sized cars, many things with sound effects etc etc etc….

We are on our way to drowning over here…… Help!

For help, click here

 

Girl Guides (and thunder storms) June 23, 2009

camp-blog

This morning we woke up to a crazy light show outside our apartment. Florida sure has some dramatic storms and this one was throwing a full-on temper-tantrum on our lawn.

Heavy thunder, freak lightening (a la strobe lights at a Britney Spears concert…. or so I imagine anyways) and torrential downpour aimed primarily at our bedroom window. This was around 5 am or so. V slept through the whole thing, to my surprise. M woke up briefly, uttered “Man, that’s loud…zzz..” and went back to sleep.

I lay awake until my alarm went off at 6:30, thinking that I am so not prepared for Hurricane season. I have no bottled water (except for the dead soliders around my side of the bed). I have no back-up baby anything. I have a few cans of Minestrone soup in the cupboard.

I suddenly had this vision of running out of fresh water and having to make formula with toilet water. No child of mine was going to drink a toilet bottle. I lay in bed muttering things to M like “We NEED supplies. Seriously M, we NEED them.” and “toilet water, no way!”.

When M called me later that day and announced that he and V were heading off to BJ’s (which is like Costco) and I practically yelled “GET WATER!!!!!!!” into the phone. Except I was at work, so I just said “Could you please pick up some water” in a well-modulated voice instead.

And then I had a flash-back to Girl Guide camp which, for my American readers out there, is the same as Girl Scouts except with less-gourmet cookies. Just plain vanilla and chocolate for us folks up North.

Anyways, we were given a wilderness survival kit at the beginning of camp. We were supposed to take it with us on all nature walks. I was fascinated. I vividly remember it containing a rain-slicker made out of a garbage-bag (with holes cut for arms and heads) and a package of raisins, which we were to regard as ‘sugar’ incase we got hypothermia from being out overnight in the cold, rainy, windy, spooky West Coast forest.

Again, I was fascinated by the idea of getting lost in the forest. Fascinated and scared at the same time.

One night after all of our Girl Guide campfire building and firewood collecting, all curled up in our bunkbeds, under the cover of my sleeping bag and using my flashlight, I emptied my survival kit and took a proper look at it all.

What it contained other than that garbage bag and those raisins, I couldn’t say…. I do know, however, that stale, illicit raisins eaten under a sleeping bag, on the top bunk in the dull glow of  a flashlight are delicious…. And that I am now the proud owner of a lot of emergency bottled water…… and that I will seriously try to not drink illicitly under the cover of my duvet…

For Girl Guides of Canada, click here

For Girl Scouts of America, click here

For raisins, click here