Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

 

Biohazard March 29, 2009

Filed under: avocados,biohazard,poo,skype,threw up on — Ohdeerestme @ 7:30 pm


My morning started off wonderfully….

Again the blessed event happened. V slept in until 7:30, and there was much praising of holy things in our household. 2 days in a row is really unbelievable, and I finally feel rested after the longest week ever (M has a cold, and I am sure everyone is familiar with the joys of taking care of a sick man)

(V is taking a nap {or pretending to, in any case} and I am watching Anne of Green Gables quietly in the living-room while M is out running errands…….so relaxing…)

I made wheat-free pancakes for Mr V, as he is allergic to wheat, and he loved them. I was so buoyed up by this success, that I even dared contemplate trying to feed him some avocado again at lunch.

My Mum rang, I picked V up out of his Jumparoo and off we went to the bedroom where our web-cam is set up for a Skype with ‘Nanna‘. As I was getting situated (while chatting with Mum), I noticed an unpleasant smell emanating from little man’s pants. I peeked down the back of his pants, using my thumb to hold the diaper away from his body.

Aha!! I had found the location the the odor! Oh! And my thumb was now covered in poo! Awesome!

I quickly disconnected our Skype call (with my poo-free hand of course), and ran into the living-room to find M. I definitely needed assistance on this one.

It was a two person diaper clean-up, and then the biohazard was immediately taken out to the dumpster.

So back again to the bedroom to call Mum for a chat and of course to show off V, who was particularly flirty with her today. Very cute!

About 15 minutes into our conversation, V threw-up all over himself and me. The majority of it hit the crotch of my pj’s and soaked through and was pretty much instantaneously ice cold. Nice.
I waddled out of the room (crotch growing colder by the minute) with puke covered child to fetch clean clothes for him and something to tidy this whole mess up with.

M was totally oblivious in the other room (I think he was totally zoned out on Plant Earth)

Mum is killing herself laughing on the computer.

My crotch is cold.

Mum: “Are you sure you still want to have another one?”

Me: “It’s not something I am currently contemplating, given the events of the last 20 minutes”

On the plus side, I fed V avocados for lunch and not only did he like them this time, but he also didn’t throw up on me! The day had taken a turn for the better…. finally…