Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Consider this… July 15, 2009

change-blog

I am considering making some more changes to my blog…..

This is an ongoing thing with me, as I try to improve and expand etc etc

One of the biggest changes I am comtemplating is a name-change.

So far I have one idea…. message me if you want to hear more *hint hint*

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Badassicalness July 12, 2009

Celine-blog

A new feature I am thinking about adding to my blog as either a weekly or bi-monthly event. By event, I really mean ‘post’.

I am looking to feature interesting people and/or interesting blogs/websites. If this works the way I hope it will, I eventually want to add a give-away element to it too.

But for now, it will just be a feature….

Tonight’s Sunday Night Featurette will be….

~Celine B.~

Queen of cakes and sarcasm.

And a family member, so you know this is going to be flattering….. (she’s so purdy)

Brief history:

Celine hails from the West Coast of Canada. Or Wet Coast. Or however you like to call it. She migrated South, as all people tend to do, a few years ago and settled on the West Coast of Florida for a few years. She joined Publix and immediately began her meteoric rise. Quickly moving her way from associate (clerk) to Assistant Bakery Manager, mostly by sheer skill. And charm. She quickly moved inland to the Orlando area, where she is currently residing and plotting her take-over of all things bakery…

That Canadian work ethic is no match at all for… well…. anything. For real.

Especially considering the pure lack of ethic that appears to be so common these days…..

Skills:

That girl can bake a mean cake/pie/muffin/cupcake

That woman can tease a mean rock-a-billy poof (pending pictures).

That sister from another mister can decorate like you wouldn’t believe. And even if you do believe, if you saw it you still wouldn’t believe it could be that amazing.

She is amazingly creative, something which she has always had a flare for…. She shows it so clearly in her creations, especially the way her fingers delicately tease that fondant into the most interesting shapes.

Illustrated here:

cake-blog

cake2-blogcake-3

For her cake-skillz in the Orlando area… please email me @ toodlepoop@gmail.com


 

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

 

Coherency July 10, 2009

conversation-blog

I might be cool.

Naw…… we all know I’m not. These days I can barely talk about anything besides V with any coherency.It feels like I can’t even have a proper conversation with anyone without throwing in numerous details about darling child. AND, what is really awful, is that I expect you to be just as interested as if I were discussing world events. Or Michael Jackson. Or politics (as if I even can).

But, hit me up about making your own baby-food, breastfeeding, diaper brands, teething and what to feed a toddler (or almost toddler) and I can talk your ear off.

This might mean that I have become uninteresting.

So while I dwell on my lack of conversational skills these days….*sigh*…. I try to focus on what I could be talking about.

MJ’s funeral…. didn’t watch…. was appalled at family parade of small children and weeping in front of microphone (awful!!), which I saw on CNN and news flashes the next day.

That lady who left her kids in the car while she waited for her take-out pizza. I noticed as I got into my car before her, and saw her wee little one looking at me from the backseat. What is with that! She glanced at me as she got in with a carefully controlled look on her face. She knew what she did.

And I will be judging her forever. Isn’t that nice of me? Seriously, just bring your kid in with you…. for reals…

Just watched ‘Gran Torino’ and man, it was one hell of a movie. Clint Eastwood is an amazing director. Usually, I leave the room during most movies, or talk over the whole thing. I refrained *cough cough* partially from talking through it.

Teething is my enemy. V is a teething master, and by master I really mean I wish he would stop. Or the teeth would stop. But since there are many empty spaces left in that little mouth of his, I imagine that there will be  a lot of interesting nights to come.

I found a grape seed firmly lodged in his front teeth this evening. And it was a full-on war to wriggle it out. Followed by a huge tantrum. Which makes me think that he might be a little spoiled…. just a bit…

I have reconnected with some interesting people over the last few years. Mostly through facebook. Which I both curse for it’s addiction and embrace for its full-on ridiculousness… And then embrace again for the people that I reconnected with…

I sometimes fool myself into thinking that I take good nature photos. And sometimes I do. I would like a macrolense so I could experiment with some tighter construction, hopefully ending with some clearer shots.

I really need a pedicure.

See? It is all so self-focused… and mostly about babies and celebrity gossip. Oh, and me. *sigh*

I think I need some practice on having conversations.

With actual people. And not with the dog, V or Elmo…

 

Not sold yet July 9, 2009

house-blog

I just ate a BT sandwich. It would have been a BTL, except someone (M) ate all of the lettuce. What’s up with that!!

Since when doe he eat vegetables? Unprompted?

Regardless, after all of that house hunting this evening, it might as well have been a medium-rare piece of tenderloin covered in peppercorn, with a side of blue crab. With, oh, some tuna tartar. And a gorgeous glass of Merlot…

House hunting is exhausting, as I have now discovered. I feel like we are this sort of tornado, descending on all of these neighbourhoods. We are kind of all over the place…We like it….5 minutes later, we don’t like it. Then we like it again.

It’s totally in. And then it’s totally out (neighbourhoods, I mean). AND then things join the picture that we were never expecting.

And by that, I mean Lake Nona

And the real funny thing about this post is that I haven’t even talked to M since I got back from hunting with his parents. M’s mother is so awesome, she knows how to ask all of the right questions. And is super picky, and very verbal about it too. Which I appreciate it. I love people with very blunt opinions. It’s refreshing. I can’t stand beating-around-the-bush.

We looked at a few houses in the neighbourhood, and then decided to ‘what the hell’ take a look at some town houses.

Apparently I have preconceived notions about them. Or at least I did. After seeing this one, I no longer do. In fact, I want it. Who wouldn’t?

Porch.

Brick patio.

4 bedrooms.

It looks like Celebration, FLA…. which, for those who aren’t in the know, is beautiful and so out of our reach its not even funny…

*sigh*

 

Brick-like July 7, 2009

bricks-blog

I just got a chunk of waffle tossed into my hair.

Since this is not breakfast-time, I know you are surprised. I was.

It was unearthed in Chewies Dog-bed (which really is a cat-bed. Even though he’s a dog). Chewie has this tendency to bury things he won’t eat in his little bed.  I just found it a few minutes ago and thought it was funny. Ever since M became ‘Mr Mum’ I have found a lot of random bits of food all over the house.

Now part of it might be that we are doing a lot of ‘wheat-free’ cooking. Tapioca bread and wheat-free waffles. Tapioca bread does not toast well. If you make it golden brown, that actually means ‘brick’ in the language of toast.

And M is such a good Mr Mum. He toasts things to perfection, a lovely golden-brown. Which might make for deliciousness in our wheat-filled world. But actually means ‘cobble my sidewalk with your toast pieces’ in the land of the wheat-free.

I have accidentally stepped on it. I know. It is as hard as a m-f’er.

Apparently Chewie is not interested in our new wheat-free life-style. In the evenings, when I am home and M is off at his summer evening job of serving…. I find little morsels in corners of all the rooms. Waffles in the living-room. Biscuits in the bedroom. Toast everywhere. Chewie hates toast. Well, wheat-free toast anyways.

At least, this wheat -free toast. I think he would have liked what V was eating in Canada. We needed a dog in Canada to clean up the mess V made.

So, unbeknowest to V, wheat-free sucks. It sucks as even the dog won’t eat it.

And then, Chewie did something that surprised me. In retrospect though, it shouldn’t have.

He ate the waffle. So I guess, in hindsight, it wasn’t that bad. I just wish M hadn’t thrown it at me first……

 

Zap! July 6, 2009

zap-blog

As you may or may not know, V is an actual genius.

It’s true.

He proves it to us day after day. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just that we are easily impressed… But these things he does are AMAZING! We are astounded.

He eats a blueberry for the first time…… HOLY COW!!

He gobbles down asparagus like it was candy, making me exclaim “Ha! I know you got that from Grandpa Larry!”. WOW!

He crawls faster that I can run, which clearly illustrates that I need to exercise more as I must be going pretty slow. Right? Or maybe he’s just a super-fast baby. KAZAAM!!

He charms all ladies with a single casual coy glance from those heavily-lashed caramel-brown eyes. BA-BAYAM! (Southern accent is implied here)

I am sure that this must be getting ‘old hat’ for all 4 of you that read this blog on a regular basis. I am sure you are thinking things like “Yes, yes Jaime. We know he is amazing *sigh* and charming *double sigh* and super clever *HUGE extra deep super-sigh*.  For the LOVE OF GOD.”

Yes, yes, I know all of that. But then, tonight, he did something unbelievable.

And you ready for it??

Are you sure?

Can you handle the full-on buffalo-jumping-off-of-a-cliff super excitement of it all??

The most amazing I-just-discovered-the-most-awesome-musician-I-have-ever-heard-and-I-want-to share-it-with-everyone kind of feeling?

A kind of I-rode-a-camel-for-the-first-time kind of unbelievable feeling?

Alright… here it is.

He clapped his hands by himself.

Holy crap!

As I was watching him do it, it was like my mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on. I saw him doing the action, and watched the “I am clever” smile light up his face, but still, I had no idea what he was doing. It was like when I saw him stand up for the first time. I almost didn’t believe it.

I think he clapped for about 30 seconds straight before I actually comprehended what he was doing. I followed my non-comprehension with “Good job, Little Man!”. And then I cried.

Oh my big boy…. Clapping away by himself in his high-chair, covered in grilled cheese sandwich,  as I was grilling him some asparagus and defrosting some of his birthday cake for dessert. I know “grilling”, right? I might as well grow his own food while I am at it.

Ok, back to me blathering away. I cried. V is one. He claps. I am teaching him to point at pictures in his bedtime books, he is saying things to me that almost sound like real words. I swear he said “Pop-Pop” the other day. My heart might explode.

Too. Much. Emotion.

If I can’t even handle clapping, how am I going to manage him walking. Even going potty. Clearly I will just be an emotional mess until he is in his 30’s. Can’t wait!