Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Jaime 4 – Yoga 3 May 5, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,spandex,sweat,tired,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:56 pm
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yoga-blog

Post Tuesday night yoga….

I got 4 compliments on my technique/pose from my instructor tonight. 4. Which made me feel so good (I told M after class and we totally did an awesome fist-pump dance in celebration. Ok. It was just me, he watched.).

“Awesome form”.

How about that. 2 months at yoga class and I am finally getting the hang of it. W hat I am not getting the hang of is my balance. I think it’s genetic. For the life of me I can’t balance on one leg, I just fall over. But with ‘awesome form’ in mind, I will hopefully improve.

Other bikram yoga thoughts…..

Sadly Spandex-man was not there tonight. However, his friends Mr Short-shorts and Well-defined Abs-man were there tonight and the 2 of them just might take his place.

The girl next to me was this fragile-looking, tiny Asian girl, who was delicately covered in sweat droplets like a little bird had shaken its damp wings on her back. She made sweating look adorable. I glanced up at my red, shiney face. Oh well, who says it’s about looks anyways, eh?

 

Internal Hotness April 28, 2009

Filed under: spandex,tattoos,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:45 pm
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My weekly yoga class was tonight, and you know how much I like to share my post-sweaty class thoughts with you.

Tonight the room was extra hot. I didn’t realize this until I glanced at one of the guys in front of me, and noticed that sweat was dripping off of him onto his towel like he had a leaky faucet built into his hip. It was dripping at a steady rate off the corner of his shorts.

Sweat was rolling off of my elbows, my fingers and sliding down my calves at an enormous rate. At one point, it was slowly running from the corners of my eyes and down onto my cheeks. I imagined (while those sweat droplets hung out on my cheekbones) that I was in prison and I had little tattoo tears dripping out of the corner of my eye.

Just trying to illustrate how hard-core I am about yoga (and hoping  you will ignore the fact that I have only been going for a month and a half).

It was awesome.

Sadly though, Spandex man was not there. Actually I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks. He might have fallen out of love with Bikram. OR he ran out of spandex pants. OR he is actually wearing something else to class and I don’t recognize him because I can no longer see his package in complete and total detail. Probably the last one, eh?

Anyways, the room was so hot that apparently my internal temperature will be higher tomorrow as a result.

Crazy yoga people. I love them all…..

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
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southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,¬† check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?

 

Bikram Post Script April 2, 2009

Filed under: holy mother,spandex,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 1:05 am


Addendum…

Walking into the yoga studio yesterday, I glanced around the room and tried to decide where to put my mat and towel. Not too close to the mirror and not in the back corner so as to seem unsocial. I settled for the middle.

I rolled my mat out, draped my towel over it (sweat catcher), sat down and glanced around the room.

Some young girls were positioned close to the mirror, a middle-aged woman was next to me and there was a naked man laying face-down on his mat next to me. With a closer look, it was clear he wasn’t totally naked. Just dressed in skin-tight cream coloured spandex short athletic shorts. With no shirt on.

I am sure you can understand my confusion.

Anyways, the class started, we started doing breathing exercises and began the first few moves. I was watching my poses in the mirror when my gaze swept sideways for a second.

Full-on sweaty package in plain sight reflected in mirror.

Every detail outlined.
Holy mother.
Not what I want to see in yoga class.

But he was so earnest.

And as the class progressed, we all got sweatier and sweatier and his spandex defined more and more.

The class went on, I forgot about it but remembered as soon as the class was over and my neighbour in his practically see-through spandex picked up his mat and headed out of the studio.

Note to self: cream-coloured spandex not a good choice for any exercise at all