Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

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Picky July 4, 2009

You know when you finally decide to take that big step in a direction that means ‘responsibility’? It’s kind of like teetering on the edge of a cliff forever…… finally someone comes up behind you and gives you a big ol’ push over the edge. There you are….. totally free-falling, no idea what to do, with a how-to manual clutched in your hand.

“Cliff-diving for Dummies”.

Really, it’s “House-Buying for Dummies”.

I think the tenants that moved in above us finally pushed me over the edge. M, apparently, hasn’t noticed them at all. All I hear is ‘thump thump thump’. And then there are our new neighbours across the courtyard, who bbq right in front of our living-room window. Awesome. I might as well just invite myself.

I guess M and I kind of keep to ourselves. We are just private kind of people that are not on first name basis with all of our apartment neighbours. We also do not party with them. Or drink with them randomly, or really hang out with any of them at all. You wouldn’t want to either.

Now ‘house’ neighbours are a different kind of story. If you are buying, you will be friendly with your neighbours. The end.

So as we blunder, slowly, through this whole initial process it’s like my brain just wants to shut down.

I look at homes online. I email our realtor things I think we’d like. She emails me back. I talk to M about when we want to look at them….. and thats when things seem to slow down for us.

We want to. But…..we also want to do everything else but physically look at them. We also are ultra picky. And have also put a time-limit on this whole thing. We are determined to take advantage of that tax credit. And also don’t want to renew our lease, which is up in October. And also we seem to be quite picky.

We don’t mind a little bit rundown. But not too rundown. We don’t mind a foreclosure, but would prefer one that comes with a pool, a pool that is sparkling clean. A 3/2 is at the bottom of the list, but a 4/2 would be better. And all of this needs to fall into a rather srict budget, and ever stricter neighbourhood that we have outlined.

And this is all tentative. Sometimes I think to myself “What the hell are we doing?!?!”

And then I think “Oh,right. We hate renting and want a house. And are firmly in our 30’s. And have a baby. And this is the next logical step.”

And so, yet again, we are picky. And possibly (a) pain(s) in the ass (es).

*sigh* This is exhausting to even type about….

pick-it-blog

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 19, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,sweat,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:44 pm
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Post-yoga thoughts…

Tonight I was feeling very contemplative tonight while I was twisting and sweating. And focused. As I was focusing on myself in the mirror I discovered something about myself… I learned something new about my own body while I was contorting, dripping, flexing and holding my position in the mirror.

I have really small forearms. Seriously short ones.

I am practically T-Rex.

Is that normal?

So off I went to Google to find out….

I either have a form of dwarfism… which I am pretty sure is not true.

Or  I am a teenage body-builder… this is a possibility… I might be either ‘Charliesaurus’ OR ‘teen_muscle3’.

OR I am actually a T-Rex.

Not sure. Must contemplate at next yoga class…..

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 12, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,cousin,holy mother,sweat,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:23 pm
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yoga-blog

Post-class I am whipped. Beat into a pulp. A big ol’ mess, to get all ‘Southern’ on you and stuff.

Tonight we tried a new place (mainly because they have a coupon, and coupons are good). It was in an old building near downtown, bit of a different vibe. Ramshackle building, loads of little skinny people (which I am blaming on its position to the downtown core) and a door on the women’s toilet that I swear was made completely out of Styrofoam painted brown. For reals.

Holy did we ever sweat. It was brutal.

The room was so crowded I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror. I also couldn’t see myself because there was a very tall man in front of me. And funny as we were asked repeatedly to focus on ourselves in-front of the mirror, and I couldn’t as, well, he was RIGHT THERE.

I focused a lot on his sweaty back though….. he has a mole just below his left shoulder-blade. And nice shoulders.

Anyways, bikram was hard-core and I was beaten down man. Beaten down.

Dizzy and exhausted I left the studio, chatting with J and C about how darn hot it was (at least 10 degrees hotter than our other place. Swear.). I threw my damp yoga gear into the back seat, balanced my water bottle on the roof and loaded everything else into the front. I climbed in and took off.

I drove about 50 feet and heard an awful clanking noise. Totally thought it was my car, as we have innumerable issues with it. I kept going and the noise stopped. Glancing in my rear-view mirror I saw something blue on the wet road.

Oh crap! It’s my water bottle!! My $25 water bottle that I got a huge lecture about buying! The water bottle that C teases me about every time I see her. You know, THAT water bottle.

I quickly called her, thankfully she was just behind me (and South St is a one-way street AND wasn’t that busy). She swooped in behind my car and practically leaned out of hers and one-armed it out of the street and into her sporty little SmartCar.

Oh, and then she laughed at me. A lot.

And, I imagine, will never let me forget it. Sigh.

 

Jaime 4 – Yoga 3 May 5, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,spandex,sweat,tired,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:56 pm
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yoga-blog

Post Tuesday night yoga….

I got 4 compliments on my technique/pose from my instructor tonight. 4. Which made me feel so good (I told M after class and we totally did an awesome fist-pump dance in celebration. Ok. It was just me, he watched.).

“Awesome form”.

How about that. 2 months at yoga class and I am finally getting the hang of it. W hat I am not getting the hang of is my balance. I think it’s genetic. For the life of me I can’t balance on one leg, I just fall over. But with ‘awesome form’ in mind, I will hopefully improve.

Other bikram yoga thoughts…..

Sadly Spandex-man was not there tonight. However, his friends Mr Short-shorts and Well-defined Abs-man were there tonight and the 2 of them just might take his place.

The girl next to me was this fragile-looking, tiny Asian girl, who was delicately covered in sweat droplets like a little bird had shaken its damp wings on her back. She made sweating look adorable. I glanced up at my red, shiney face. Oh well, who says it’s about looks anyways, eh?

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
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southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,  check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?

 

Bikram April 1, 2009

Filed under: icecream,sweat,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 1:12 am

So on the way to visit my cousin at work on the weekend, I happened to drive past a yoga studio.

I have been looking for a nice place to do yoga at since forever. I actually really started looking while I was pregnant. I was set on prenatal yoga, something I was sure I would enjoy doing instead of running while I was expecting.

I Googled, I yellow-paged…. to no avail….. Of course there are yoga studios around town, but none near me. Most are in posh Winter Park, and there was no way I was driving there for yoga. Perhaps I live too close to Kissimmee? Yoga is not high on the list for people who live in Osceola county? Yoga is only for Canadians and hippies and there is not enough of either in this part of the USA?? Who knows…. I thought for sure there would be a nice little studio in Hunter’s Creek, but no, there is not.

So no prenatal yoga happened, and I have been on the lookout since.

I was SO happy to drive by this place. I totally did a comical screech of the brakes, reversed, parked and hustled V in to check it out. We got the full tour. It was awesome.

So I decided I would actually check it out. I went this evening. Actually I just got back about an hour ago, and am tiiiiiiiirrrrrrrreeeeeedddd. But satisfied.

It’s hot yoga, which I had never done before. I have taken plain old yoga before, but holy man was this awesome.

And hot.

Super hot. And Awesome. With a capital ‘A’.

My muscles shook, sweat actually dripped off of me and puddled on my towel. I was soaked by the end of the class…. and so satisfied.

Satisfied like I ate a big bowl of icecream. I swear I could taste icecream in my mouth as I walked out of the studio.

And pleasantly surprised to find out that the class wasn’t full of farting as well!

My wonderful cousin, when I called her this morning to invite her along with me, was interested in coming at first. Until she found out that it was hot yoga, and then she made some sort of comment like “I heard everyone farts during bikram yoga. No thanks. Have fun in your gassy class!” Awesome.

I heard no farting. It did get smelly though, but just the sweat I think?! Maybe everyone was ‘releasing’ some tension.

I am going again. I love it. Sweat is good. Heat is good. Sweat and heat while being all bendy, awesome.