Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

WME July 13, 2009

happybaby-blog

I got home today thinking that things were pretty much in order….

Sped home, picked up V, dashed to Publix and got home at a reasonable time. 6 pm. Not too shabby!

Dinner preparations began. First some peas….

I heated them up, cooled them off a little, walked over to him and slowly spilled them onto his highchair top. He giggled. I guess the sight of all those peas rolling around was quite funny.

Peas are his new favorite vegetable to eat whole. He happily picks them off his tray and stuffs them into his little mouth. During this stuff-in time, I add some cubed Edam cheese while I heat up a veggie pattie in the microwave.

My new favorite foods for him are from *surprise* WholeFoods! I know thats a huge shocker… But they do have the best gluten/wheat free selection I have found in town, and also have an interesting selection of gluten-free toddler food.

My current favorite? HappyBaby‘s HappyBites. The veggie-tots are what are currently swinging around our kitchen…

I cooled the veggie-tot down on the counter, but pick up and hand delivered it to V’s table, to his apparent delight.

One piece in. No problem. And chewed to evident delight.

Number 2 hit that little mouth and the screams that issued after could seriously have woken the dead. I spun around, only to see V clawing at his little mouth.

Oh. My. God.

I quickly figured out that it was just too hot for that tender little palate. I swear I temperature tested it before hand…. bad mummy. I felt so horrible. That little face was so red and those little eyes were clenched shut. I did an ‘extraction’…. which means that I scooped that little mess right out of his mouth. Oh man. There was a hidden chunk of potato that was hotter than everything else. Oh that poor little mouth…

But problem solved… he has such a good temperament that he quickly moved past it and went on to stuff something else in there. Oh great. Same thing. Veggie tots. Hot.

Scream. Wail. Shriek. Claw at face. Turn red. Awesome.

By this time I was almost crying myself…. more mad at myself than anything. How could I have missed that piece that was slightly hotter than everything else? So much for my temperature testing skills…..

And then…..*sigh* it happened again.

Clearly I can’t tell temperature at all. Seriously!

This time it was so hot that those little chubby fists shook with frustration while those finger tried to claw everything out of that mouth.

Again, how did I miss this. Or was it just hot enough that, piled on top of the other hot things it pushed everything over the limit.

I felt awful. AWFUL.

Bad mummy. I completely checked everything temperature-wise…. perhaps I just…. oh… I don’t know…. I still feel awful. I gave him some ice-cream to cool that little mouth of his down. We brushed his teeth and off he went to bed.

Worst Mummy Ever. Total WME event. Embarrassingly enough, on top of all of this I felt the need to share this with random Internet-slash-family.

Clearly I am just looking for punishment…

 

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

 

Home Depot of Dads June 29, 2009

dad-blog

Monday night, M and I reclining in the living room.

We have survived. 4 whole days of teething. 4 new teeth coming in. An interesting new habit I like to call ‘Tantrum”. An unfortunate lack of regular naps (he is very stubborn). Oh, and the end of the Cheezie stash in our apartment. It’s been a tough couple of days….

Regardless, we both finished a lovely dish of homemade Pad Thai, a few glasses of red wine and are watching some Burn Notice (which is our latest non-thinking evening entertainment. We watch it while I blog and M plays around on his DS…. fights Ogres, Dragons and Orcs and other things like that.

So tonight I dedicate to my darling M.

Mr Mum, as he is known this summer. Mr Mum is awesome. Every morning V and Mr Mum walk to the park to play. Every morning they meet their new dog friends, Jake and Pretty, on their way to the park. I know they have fun as the stroller comes home covered in some kind of new substance which I think is a combination of grapes, cheese and sand. It is sort of like cement (I noticed it was as I was trying to scrub it off the stroller this evening).

Breakfast and lunch are duly (and lovingly made). Outfits are hastily and poorly put together, but in a wonderful sort of way. Tops and bottoms are the opposite of matching. He would be the Dad that the other Mums in the park oooh and aah over. And bring extra snacks for. And dote on. Man, this could be trouble….. He is rather lost looking and adorable…. that’s M I mean, not V…..

He is such a good Dad. All Dads are good dads, but it is an amazing thing to watch a new Dad at work. M is unlocking abilities that I never knew exsisted in him. He is mastering new levels. His skill level is rising.

And I am playing too much  Mob Wars on FB.

Regardless, M is total Major Dad this summer. He is all schedules,  parameters and other technical terms I can’t think of right now. Everything is organized. Listed. Super organized. M is the Home Depot of organized. And the Lowes of Dads.

It’s shaping up to be an awesome hardware store-filled summer  for the boys…

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 19, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,sweat,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:44 pm
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yoga-blog

Post-yoga thoughts…

Tonight I was feeling very contemplative tonight while I was twisting and sweating. And focused. As I was focusing on myself in the mirror I discovered something about myself… I learned something new about my own body while I was contorting, dripping, flexing and holding my position in the mirror.

I have really small forearms. Seriously short ones.

I am practically T-Rex.

Is that normal?

So off I went to Google to find out….

I either have a form of dwarfism… which I am pretty sure is not true.

Or  I am a teenage body-builder… this is a possibility… I might be either ‘Charliesaurus’ OR ‘teen_muscle3’.

OR I am actually a T-Rex.

Not sure. Must contemplate at next yoga class…..

 

Jaime 4 – Yoga 3 May 5, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,spandex,sweat,tired,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:56 pm
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yoga-blog

Post Tuesday night yoga….

I got 4 compliments on my technique/pose from my instructor tonight. 4. Which made me feel so good (I told M after class and we totally did an awesome fist-pump dance in celebration. Ok. It was just me, he watched.).

“Awesome form”.

How about that. 2 months at yoga class and I am finally getting the hang of it. W hat I am not getting the hang of is my balance. I think it’s genetic. For the life of me I can’t balance on one leg, I just fall over. But with ‘awesome form’ in mind, I will hopefully improve.

Other bikram yoga thoughts…..

Sadly Spandex-man was not there tonight. However, his friends Mr Short-shorts and Well-defined Abs-man were there tonight and the 2 of them just might take his place.

The girl next to me was this fragile-looking, tiny Asian girl, who was delicately covered in sweat droplets like a little bird had shaken its damp wings on her back. She made sweating look adorable. I glanced up at my red, shiney face. Oh well, who says it’s about looks anyways, eh?

 

Internal Hotness April 28, 2009

Filed under: spandex,tattoos,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:45 pm
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yoga-blog

My weekly yoga class was tonight, and you know how much I like to share my post-sweaty class thoughts with you.

Tonight the room was extra hot. I didn’t realize this until I glanced at one of the guys in front of me, and noticed that sweat was dripping off of him onto his towel like he had a leaky faucet built into his hip. It was dripping at a steady rate off the corner of his shorts.

Sweat was rolling off of my elbows, my fingers and sliding down my calves at an enormous rate. At one point, it was slowly running from the corners of my eyes and down onto my cheeks. I imagined (while those sweat droplets hung out on my cheekbones) that I was in prison and I had little tattoo tears dripping out of the corner of my eye.

Just trying to illustrate how hard-core I am about yoga (and hoping  you will ignore the fact that I have only been going for a month and a half).

It was awesome.

Sadly though, Spandex man was not there. Actually I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks. He might have fallen out of love with Bikram. OR he ran out of spandex pants. OR he is actually wearing something else to class and I don’t recognize him because I can no longer see his package in complete and total detail. Probably the last one, eh?

Anyways, the room was so hot that apparently my internal temperature will be higher tomorrow as a result.

Crazy yoga people. I love them all…..

 

Yoga-a-go-go April 21, 2009

Filed under: tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:35 pm
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My mind is blank after yoga.

Bendy and foldy.

Thirsty.

Spandex-man was not there. I feel disappointed.

Tired.

Bed.

 

Creepy April 17, 2009

Filed under: creepy,holy mother,tired,Uncategorized,what the? — Ohdeerestme @ 10:08 pm
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creepy-blogI have a little toy basket in our bedroom for the odd toys that end up in our room.  I think currently there is a plushie fish, a bear and a plastic telephone.

The telephone has little pictures on the buttons and talks when you push them.

“Car”

“Baby”

“Cup”

And in spanish too!

It makes animals noises too. It meows and barks and growls. V loves it and gnaws away on it, pushing the buttons with his face and teeth.

I think it’s been in the bedroom for about a week or so. Last weekend it started meowing during the night. Woke me right out of a dead sleep.

I lay there, half awake wondering what on earth I had heard that had woke me up. I am such a light sleeper since V entered our life, I wake up at a heavy sigh.

Anyways, it meowed. Repeatedly. Often enough that I remembered it in the morning. I turned it off sometime during the night and thought that was the end of it.

The other night I noticed a dull light emanating from the toy bin. With a closer look, I realized that it was the telephone. One of the buttons was lit up. The one that has a picture of a baby on it. And the power was off.

And then it started meowing again. I ignored it. It happened with less frequency. I forgot.

And then last night it meowed again.

What the heck? I mean seriously!! I turned it off! It is off! OFF! Why is it still meowing!

Clearly it is possessed. It is some kind of Stephen King-cat possessed telephone. Our apartment complex must be built over a pet cemetary or something. (Thanks Shannon for your cat-possessed phone!)

And yet after a week and a half of this meowing telephone…. it is still in our bedroom. Too much work to move it.

 

Nightwoman March 21, 2009

Filed under: sleepwalking,tired — Ohdeerestme @ 12:29 am


It’s been a long week and as I finally settle into Friday night, exhaustion hits me….

Clearly I need some more sleep, something which struck me this early morning when I woke up on the couch. At about 3:45 am

I was seriously confused. Couch? What? And covered in blankets. It was exactly how I used to sleep when V was itty-bitty and I would let him snooze in his bouncy seat while I dozed on the couch.

V, however, was still sleeping in his crib and M was still sleeping in our bed. So why was I on the couch?

Oh, and let me add some details about my wardrobe.

I had gone to bed in a tank-top and bottoms, and woke up in a tank-tap. Imagine my bewilderment! Partially undressed, alone, on the couch at 3:45 am when I remember(clearly) going to bed in my bed. M hadn’t stirred all night and didn’t even notice when I crawled back into bed. With some new bottoms on..

I found my bottoms later that morning on top of my dresser. I think I was so tired I was sleepwalking. It’s really the only thing I can come up with….ha! I can hardly believe it!

While I was thinking about sleepwalking, I remembered doing it when I was little and we lived in Coombs. I woke up naked in the laundry closet, I think I was about 5 or 6. Maybe I was really tired then too?

I really hope it doesn’t happen again tonight. And if it does I hope I manage to keep my panties on and stay in the house and not wander around the neighbour’s yard.

 

Caught! March 15, 2009

Filed under: power-nap,standing,tired — Ohdeerestme @ 10:10 am

I am tired.

So tired.

Unbelievably tired, in fact…..

V got up at 5:30 again (which he did on saturday morning as well). That coupled with the fact that he pretty much didn’t take a a nap yesterday at all…. sigh….

He is such a funny sleeper. He always fusses before he goes to sleep. He fights it hard. There is no soothing rocking or stroking of the back….. all that does is make him more awake. He will literally go all day until he drops of exhaustion.

Yesterday on the way back from running an errand, he started to doze off in the car. I was literally 1 minutes from my apartment and excitedly thought about the short nap I would take too once I put him down in his crib. But that one minute power-nap apparently cleared him of any and all exhaustion as once in his crib, there was no sleeping going on at all. Lots of happy babbling, and when I peeked in on him he was standing in his crib.

Yes, that’s right….. STANDING…

He just learned how to this week, perfected it yesterday and is now doing it non-stop. His little plump tush sticks out so far when he does it. Adorable!

So he is extra busy, and I am extra tired. And find myself watching Conspiracy Theory on TNT while V thumps away on his musical table, watching the dog roll around on that spot on the floor where V drooled.
Dogs are disgusting. And again, this movie is awful. I think 12 years ago when it came out, I really liked it…. but post-Mel Gibson drunken rage, every movie that he is in where he acts a little weird, I can’t help but think that is his actual personality. And then I wonder why he’s all critically acclaimed for his 2 most recent directing efforts. I mean, Apocalypto was good (and I haven’t bothered with the other one) but seriously, the man is a total nutjob.

I have developed a new reflex based on 9 months of chronic spitting up. V was the spit up champ….A wet burp followed by a volcanic-like eruption. Lovely.

So recently I have caught myself cupping my hands under his mouth when I hear one of those wonderful noises. I think this is hilarious (or my early morning brain does anyways). I am actually trying to catch vomit. In my hand. An experience that I had earlier this morning. I wasn’t even grossed out, not even a bit, I clearly have become immune to these sorts of things.

10 years ago, when I was clubbing it up, who would have thought that I would be up voluntarily at 5:30 am (instead of just heading to bed), catching someones vomit in my hand. Life is an interesting journey for sure, and right now I am loving the road I am traveling….