Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Yogic thoughts June 26, 2009

Filed under: awkward,Bikram,happy,health,holy mother,standing,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:13 pm
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lotus-blog

Things I was pondering during class yesterday evening…..

During Dandayamana Bibhaktpada Janushirasana, or ‘Standing separate leg head to knee pose’, while I was staring down the front of my tank-top, I thought about a few things.

1) I need a new sports bra

2) I definitely have a bigger ‘rack’ since V came along, which is probably why I need a new sports bra…

During Dandayamana Bibhaktpada Pashimottanasana or ‘standing separate leg stretching pose’ I thought about a few others.

Primarily about how I missed Spandex-Man. And also why that girl behind me thought it would be a good idea to wear light green spandexy pants with black panties. I mean really….. sweat+light colour pants= see-through

While I was trying to not fall over during Dandayamana Dhanurasana or ‘Standing bow pulling pose’, I thought that I might just hate the two girls on the other side of the room who did the pose effortlessly. And didn’t fall over even once. And then gracefully lowered their legs in unison….. *sigh* one day… Then I thought that hate was probably not something one should be dwelling on during yoga…. Probably I should be focusing on my pose. Which makes me fall over. And then I curse under my breath. Also not good during yoga class….

While I struggled to get my leg into a proper 45 degree angle during Trikanasana or ‘triangle pose’, I mentally cursed my instructor for singling out my friend and I and making us examples. As we finally got our legs in a position that he was pleased with, I felt my foot slowly loosing its grip on the carpet and slowly sliding backwards…. which brought my leg, knee and groin waaaaaay closer to the floor than I would have liked. I didn’t really want to re-learn how to do the splits in one evening. Damn that instructor! Damn him!

It had been 2 and a half weeks since I made it to a class, what with being on holiday in Canada and all. And I really felt it. While I only go once a week (as its all the time I can carve out), that once a week keeps me a sane, flexible person. I didn’t realize that it had made that much of an impact on my life until I took a wee hiatus…

Thank goodness it’s back in my life….

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Yoga-a-go-go May 19, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,sweat,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:44 pm
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yoga-blog

Post-yoga thoughts…

Tonight I was feeling very contemplative tonight while I was twisting and sweating. And focused. As I was focusing on myself in the mirror I discovered something about myself… I learned something new about my own body while I was contorting, dripping, flexing and holding my position in the mirror.

I have really small forearms. Seriously short ones.

I am practically T-Rex.

Is that normal?

So off I went to Google to find out….

I either have a form of dwarfism… which I am pretty sure is not true.

Or  I am a teenage body-builder… this is a possibility… I might be either ‘Charliesaurus’ OR ‘teen_muscle3’.

OR I am actually a T-Rex.

Not sure. Must contemplate at next yoga class…..

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 12, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,cousin,holy mother,sweat,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:23 pm
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yoga-blog

Post-class I am whipped. Beat into a pulp. A big ol’ mess, to get all ‘Southern’ on you and stuff.

Tonight we tried a new place (mainly because they have a coupon, and coupons are good). It was in an old building near downtown, bit of a different vibe. Ramshackle building, loads of little skinny people (which I am blaming on its position to the downtown core) and a door on the women’s toilet that I swear was made completely out of Styrofoam painted brown. For reals.

Holy did we ever sweat. It was brutal.

The room was so crowded I couldn’t even see myself in the mirror. I also couldn’t see myself because there was a very tall man in front of me. And funny as we were asked repeatedly to focus on ourselves in-front of the mirror, and I couldn’t as, well, he was RIGHT THERE.

I focused a lot on his sweaty back though….. he has a mole just below his left shoulder-blade. And nice shoulders.

Anyways, bikram was hard-core and I was beaten down man. Beaten down.

Dizzy and exhausted I left the studio, chatting with J and C about how darn hot it was (at least 10 degrees hotter than our other place. Swear.). I threw my damp yoga gear into the back seat, balanced my water bottle on the roof and loaded everything else into the front. I climbed in and took off.

I drove about 50 feet and heard an awful clanking noise. Totally thought it was my car, as we have innumerable issues with it. I kept going and the noise stopped. Glancing in my rear-view mirror I saw something blue on the wet road.

Oh crap! It’s my water bottle!! My $25 water bottle that I got a huge lecture about buying! The water bottle that C teases me about every time I see her. You know, THAT water bottle.

I quickly called her, thankfully she was just behind me (and South St is a one-way street AND wasn’t that busy). She swooped in behind my car and practically leaned out of hers and one-armed it out of the street and into her sporty little SmartCar.

Oh, and then she laughed at me. A lot.

And, I imagine, will never let me forget it. Sigh.

 

Jaime 4 – Yoga 3 May 5, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,spandex,sweat,tired,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:56 pm
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yoga-blog

Post Tuesday night yoga….

I got 4 compliments on my technique/pose from my instructor tonight. 4. Which made me feel so good (I told M after class and we totally did an awesome fist-pump dance in celebration. Ok. It was just me, he watched.).

“Awesome form”.

How about that. 2 months at yoga class and I am finally getting the hang of it. W hat I am not getting the hang of is my balance. I think it’s genetic. For the life of me I can’t balance on one leg, I just fall over. But with ‘awesome form’ in mind, I will hopefully improve.

Other bikram yoga thoughts…..

Sadly Spandex-man was not there tonight. However, his friends Mr Short-shorts and Well-defined Abs-man were there tonight and the 2 of them just might take his place.

The girl next to me was this fragile-looking, tiny Asian girl, who was delicately covered in sweat droplets like a little bird had shaken its damp wings on her back. She made sweating look adorable. I glanced up at my red, shiney face. Oh well, who says it’s about looks anyways, eh?

 

Internal Hotness April 28, 2009

Filed under: spandex,tattoos,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:45 pm
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yoga-blog

My weekly yoga class was tonight, and you know how much I like to share my post-sweaty class thoughts with you.

Tonight the room was extra hot. I didn’t realize this until I glanced at one of the guys in front of me, and noticed that sweat was dripping off of him onto his towel like he had a leaky faucet built into his hip. It was dripping at a steady rate off the corner of his shorts.

Sweat was rolling off of my elbows, my fingers and sliding down my calves at an enormous rate. At one point, it was slowly running from the corners of my eyes and down onto my cheeks. I imagined (while those sweat droplets hung out on my cheekbones) that I was in prison and I had little tattoo tears dripping out of the corner of my eye.

Just trying to illustrate how hard-core I am about yoga (and hoping  you will ignore the fact that I have only been going for a month and a half).

It was awesome.

Sadly though, Spandex man was not there. Actually I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks. He might have fallen out of love with Bikram. OR he ran out of spandex pants. OR he is actually wearing something else to class and I don’t recognize him because I can no longer see his package in complete and total detail. Probably the last one, eh?

Anyways, the room was so hot that apparently my internal temperature will be higher tomorrow as a result.

Crazy yoga people. I love them all…..

 

Yoga-a-go-go April 21, 2009

Filed under: tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:35 pm
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My mind is blank after yoga.

Bendy and foldy.

Thirsty.

Spandex-man was not there. I feel disappointed.

Tired.

Bed.

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
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southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,  check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?