Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Floater May 2, 2009

Filed under: holy mother,Mummy,parenting,poo,Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 10:24 pm
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bathtub-blog

**Warning** **Warning**

This post contains explicit details, mostly focused around baby poop. And if that ain’t your cup of tea, then turn back now brothers and sisters….

Flashback to earlier today….. busy day. Not only did we go to the community-wide garage sale with my mother-in-law, but as soon as we were done there, V and I hit the road again. Up to Winter Garden to celebrate my best friend’s daughter’s 5th birthday.

It was a birthday extravaganza! And V’s first party as well. Pizza, cake, friends, balloons, sandboxes, swings….. it was so much fun. Little man out in the sunshine, flirting with the ladies (as he has been known to do).

Let me add that there were no naps taken at all today. A little foreshadowing for y’all….

Anyways, post-party we arrive home in a jolly mood. Which is surprising. Regardless……dinner, dessert and bath prep (to remove the sunscreen and sand). Pre-bath and post-dinner there was rather a lot of grunting which only means one thing. And you know what I mean. And if you don’t, it means poop.

Post poop and naked, I swept him off to the bathroom for some fun in the tub.

He loves his baths. LOVES! His baths. He was splashing happily away… and in the middle of that splashing started grunting again. (good lord, was all I could mentally say…)

I just looked at him in disbelief. Really, I was thinking that it couldn’t possibly be what I was thinking. We were having a bath, after all…

Well, shortly after…. and I do mean shortly, I discovered the reason for the grunting. And that would be poop. Poop floating in my tub.

My reaction? Instant laughter. V makes me laugh so much. Well, I guess motherhood really does…. anyways, I must have laughed so much that it upset V! He started crying! Crying in a tub full of poop. Which made me laugh more. See the vicious cycle??

So I picked him up out of the tub (oh, and I was home alone….. this always happens when I am home alone) and rushed him off to his crib. Naked. Naked and crying. Awesome.

Off I went to fish out the poop and sanitize the tub. How fun (I like sarcasm in case you didn’t know). So I fished and cleaned the tub out. Meanwhile, back in the crib, V was jumping away having the time of his life. Why did I feel like the bath was unfinished business?

And back to the tub we went…….

As soon as we entered the bathroom, he started wailing and that should have been a sign.  I was determined to give him a complete bath, apparently….

As soon as I plunked him back in the tub, he started wailing more. And as soon as he started fussing,  poop started floating again. Oh lord when would it ever end!

Apparently never. There was a poop reservoir which I found out about with the 2nd bath. Unexpected. It was a quick bath (a whole 10 seconds). Poop floated. V went back into the crib (happily I might add).

And the evening quickly drew to a close.

I fished poop out of the tub times 2. I sanitized the tub times 2. I made my child cry times 2. Oh, and I clogged the toilet up with the floating poo when I tried to flush it the first time. Awesome. Clogged toilet. Floating poops. Crying.

Wonderful.

And on top of all of this, I forgot to pay rent. It’s like a double bonus!

I just thought I would share my most wonderful afternoon/evening with y’all…. night!

DON’T click here, you will learn too much about poo  (I googled floater and this is what came up)