Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Consider this… July 15, 2009

change-blog

I am considering making some more changes to my blog…..

This is an ongoing thing with me, as I try to improve and expand etc etc

One of the biggest changes I am comtemplating is a name-change.

So far I have one idea…. message me if you want to hear more *hint hint*

 

Badassicalness July 12, 2009

Celine-blog

A new feature I am thinking about adding to my blog as either a weekly or bi-monthly event. By event, I really mean ‘post’.

I am looking to feature interesting people and/or interesting blogs/websites. If this works the way I hope it will, I eventually want to add a give-away element to it too.

But for now, it will just be a feature….

Tonight’s Sunday Night Featurette will be….

~Celine B.~

Queen of cakes and sarcasm.

And a family member, so you know this is going to be flattering….. (she’s so purdy)

Brief history:

Celine hails from the West Coast of Canada. Or Wet Coast. Or however you like to call it. She migrated South, as all people tend to do, a few years ago and settled on the West Coast of Florida for a few years. She joined Publix and immediately began her meteoric rise. Quickly moving her way from associate (clerk) to Assistant Bakery Manager, mostly by sheer skill. And charm. She quickly moved inland to the Orlando area, where she is currently residing and plotting her take-over of all things bakery…

That Canadian work ethic is no match at all for… well…. anything. For real.

Especially considering the pure lack of ethic that appears to be so common these days…..

Skills:

That girl can bake a mean cake/pie/muffin/cupcake

That woman can tease a mean rock-a-billy poof (pending pictures).

That sister from another mister can decorate like you wouldn’t believe. And even if you do believe, if you saw it you still wouldn’t believe it could be that amazing.

She is amazingly creative, something which she has always had a flare for…. She shows it so clearly in her creations, especially the way her fingers delicately tease that fondant into the most interesting shapes.

Illustrated here:

cake-blog

cake2-blogcake-3

For her cake-skillz in the Orlando area… please email me @ toodlepoop@gmail.com


 

Tattoo July 11, 2009

cherry-muse-blog

Tattooed. Awesome.

Spending time in a tattoo studio is interesting. I’ve been in one several times before…. but this was the first time that I’ve been in one with someone that has been in one on a regular basis. She’s pretty colourful. And pretty. And pretty and colourful at the same time.

As was my experience….

Colourful.

And Pretty!!

But colourful.

I learned.

I learned things maybe I shouldn’t share with the public.

Things about going to Greece and France…. that aren’t really involved with travel. At all. Who knew. But in retrospect, it made lots of sense.

I also didn’t know that blow-jobs and chicken go hand-in-hand… Apparently they do. But that it also stops after marriage. So don’t get married or those two will no longer go hand in hand…. If they ever did. Except in the realm of imagination and tattoo parlours.

I had many conversations about drugs, chicken, foreign countries, sex, sex, sex, sex and sex. And penises. I didn’t even know how to pluralize that word. Thank god for spell-check.

Mostly I just listened and absorbed. Absorbed what? I couldn’t really say. It’s been absorbed already. It’s in there though, floating around. I am sure that it will all resurface at some point… Most likely on my next trip. Once C and I work out the kinks to my cap sleeve.

Did you know that she is my tattoo muse?

If you are looking for ideas, let me know…. she might consult, for a fee that is… I’ll make sure you get a family rate. No worries….

 

Not sold yet July 9, 2009

house-blog

I just ate a BT sandwich. It would have been a BTL, except someone (M) ate all of the lettuce. What’s up with that!!

Since when doe he eat vegetables? Unprompted?

Regardless, after all of that house hunting this evening, it might as well have been a medium-rare piece of tenderloin covered in peppercorn, with a side of blue crab. With, oh, some tuna tartar. And a gorgeous glass of Merlot…

House hunting is exhausting, as I have now discovered. I feel like we are this sort of tornado, descending on all of these neighbourhoods. We are kind of all over the place…We like it….5 minutes later, we don’t like it. Then we like it again.

It’s totally in. And then it’s totally out (neighbourhoods, I mean). AND then things join the picture that we were never expecting.

And by that, I mean Lake Nona

And the real funny thing about this post is that I haven’t even talked to M since I got back from hunting with his parents. M’s mother is so awesome, she knows how to ask all of the right questions. And is super picky, and very verbal about it too. Which I appreciate it. I love people with very blunt opinions. It’s refreshing. I can’t stand beating-around-the-bush.

We looked at a few houses in the neighbourhood, and then decided to ‘what the hell’ take a look at some town houses.

Apparently I have preconceived notions about them. Or at least I did. After seeing this one, I no longer do. In fact, I want it. Who wouldn’t?

Porch.

Brick patio.

4 bedrooms.

It looks like Celebration, FLA…. which, for those who aren’t in the know, is beautiful and so out of our reach its not even funny…

*sigh*

 

Brick-like July 7, 2009

bricks-blog

I just got a chunk of waffle tossed into my hair.

Since this is not breakfast-time, I know you are surprised. I was.

It was unearthed in Chewies Dog-bed (which really is a cat-bed. Even though he’s a dog). Chewie has this tendency to bury things he won’t eat in his little bed.  I just found it a few minutes ago and thought it was funny. Ever since M became ‘Mr Mum’ I have found a lot of random bits of food all over the house.

Now part of it might be that we are doing a lot of ‘wheat-free’ cooking. Tapioca bread and wheat-free waffles. Tapioca bread does not toast well. If you make it golden brown, that actually means ‘brick’ in the language of toast.

And M is such a good Mr Mum. He toasts things to perfection, a lovely golden-brown. Which might make for deliciousness in our wheat-filled world. But actually means ‘cobble my sidewalk with your toast pieces’ in the land of the wheat-free.

I have accidentally stepped on it. I know. It is as hard as a m-f’er.

Apparently Chewie is not interested in our new wheat-free life-style. In the evenings, when I am home and M is off at his summer evening job of serving…. I find little morsels in corners of all the rooms. Waffles in the living-room. Biscuits in the bedroom. Toast everywhere. Chewie hates toast. Well, wheat-free toast anyways.

At least, this wheat -free toast. I think he would have liked what V was eating in Canada. We needed a dog in Canada to clean up the mess V made.

So, unbeknowest to V, wheat-free sucks. It sucks as even the dog won’t eat it.

And then, Chewie did something that surprised me. In retrospect though, it shouldn’t have.

He ate the waffle. So I guess, in hindsight, it wasn’t that bad. I just wish M hadn’t thrown it at me first……

 

Zap! July 6, 2009

zap-blog

As you may or may not know, V is an actual genius.

It’s true.

He proves it to us day after day. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just that we are easily impressed… But these things he does are AMAZING! We are astounded.

He eats a blueberry for the first time…… HOLY COW!!

He gobbles down asparagus like it was candy, making me exclaim “Ha! I know you got that from Grandpa Larry!”. WOW!

He crawls faster that I can run, which clearly illustrates that I need to exercise more as I must be going pretty slow. Right? Or maybe he’s just a super-fast baby. KAZAAM!!

He charms all ladies with a single casual coy glance from those heavily-lashed caramel-brown eyes. BA-BAYAM! (Southern accent is implied here)

I am sure that this must be getting ‘old hat’ for all 4 of you that read this blog on a regular basis. I am sure you are thinking things like “Yes, yes Jaime. We know he is amazing *sigh* and charming *double sigh* and super clever *HUGE extra deep super-sigh*.  For the LOVE OF GOD.”

Yes, yes, I know all of that. But then, tonight, he did something unbelievable.

And you ready for it??

Are you sure?

Can you handle the full-on buffalo-jumping-off-of-a-cliff super excitement of it all??

The most amazing I-just-discovered-the-most-awesome-musician-I-have-ever-heard-and-I-want-to share-it-with-everyone kind of feeling?

A kind of I-rode-a-camel-for-the-first-time kind of unbelievable feeling?

Alright… here it is.

He clapped his hands by himself.

Holy crap!

As I was watching him do it, it was like my mind couldn’t comprehend what was going on. I saw him doing the action, and watched the “I am clever” smile light up his face, but still, I had no idea what he was doing. It was like when I saw him stand up for the first time. I almost didn’t believe it.

I think he clapped for about 30 seconds straight before I actually comprehended what he was doing. I followed my non-comprehension with “Good job, Little Man!”. And then I cried.

Oh my big boy…. Clapping away by himself in his high-chair, covered in grilled cheese sandwich,  as I was grilling him some asparagus and defrosting some of his birthday cake for dessert. I know “grilling”, right? I might as well grow his own food while I am at it.

Ok, back to me blathering away. I cried. V is one. He claps. I am teaching him to point at pictures in his bedtime books, he is saying things to me that almost sound like real words. I swear he said “Pop-Pop” the other day. My heart might explode.

Too. Much. Emotion.

If I can’t even handle clapping, how am I going to manage him walking. Even going potty. Clearly I will just be an emotional mess until he is in his 30’s. Can’t wait!

 

I (we) need July 5, 2009

need-blog

Things I haven’t done in a while:

Cut my toe-nails

Taken a relaxing bath.

Read a book on a quiet Sunday morning.

Read a book.

Watched a whole movie.

Things I have done recently:

Cleaned a very dirty bum.

Stroked a sweaty, sad litte brow.

Planted and watched some herbs grown on my front porch.

Heard the words “You complete me” sung through my ipod headphones at the tail end of a run, while looking at M and V play in the park. Thinking….”Oh, my…. it is true”.

Things I will do in the future:

Get a tattoo.

Teach V how to nod his head. Currently he can only shake his head and say “Nananananananana…” to everything, even if its things he wants.

Help those chubby little feet sit flat on the ground, instead of up on their tip-toes like they are now. Future ballerina? I think not. He already has linebacker shoulders.

Buy a house.

Buy a house before Christmas.

Finally convince M that I do, indeed, need a nightly foot massage.

 

Picky July 4, 2009

You know when you finally decide to take that big step in a direction that means ‘responsibility’? It’s kind of like teetering on the edge of a cliff forever…… finally someone comes up behind you and gives you a big ol’ push over the edge. There you are….. totally free-falling, no idea what to do, with a how-to manual clutched in your hand.

“Cliff-diving for Dummies”.

Really, it’s “House-Buying for Dummies”.

I think the tenants that moved in above us finally pushed me over the edge. M, apparently, hasn’t noticed them at all. All I hear is ‘thump thump thump’. And then there are our new neighbours across the courtyard, who bbq right in front of our living-room window. Awesome. I might as well just invite myself.

I guess M and I kind of keep to ourselves. We are just private kind of people that are not on first name basis with all of our apartment neighbours. We also do not party with them. Or drink with them randomly, or really hang out with any of them at all. You wouldn’t want to either.

Now ‘house’ neighbours are a different kind of story. If you are buying, you will be friendly with your neighbours. The end.

So as we blunder, slowly, through this whole initial process it’s like my brain just wants to shut down.

I look at homes online. I email our realtor things I think we’d like. She emails me back. I talk to M about when we want to look at them….. and thats when things seem to slow down for us.

We want to. But…..we also want to do everything else but physically look at them. We also are ultra picky. And have also put a time-limit on this whole thing. We are determined to take advantage of that tax credit. And also don’t want to renew our lease, which is up in October. And also we seem to be quite picky.

We don’t mind a little bit rundown. But not too rundown. We don’t mind a foreclosure, but would prefer one that comes with a pool, a pool that is sparkling clean. A 3/2 is at the bottom of the list, but a 4/2 would be better. And all of this needs to fall into a rather srict budget, and ever stricter neighbourhood that we have outlined.

And this is all tentative. Sometimes I think to myself “What the hell are we doing?!?!”

And then I think “Oh,right. We hate renting and want a house. And are firmly in our 30’s. And have a baby. And this is the next logical step.”

And so, yet again, we are picky. And possibly (a) pain(s) in the ass (es).

*sigh* This is exhausting to even type about….

pick-it-blog

 

Potato (PoTAto) June 30, 2009

potato-blog

Potato. Sometimes I hate you.

I really love you. Mashed. Fried. Hashed. Deep-fried. Really however you are served. Boiled too.

This evening I arrived home from work to find dinner preparations in full swing. Things were being boiled and stirred in the kitchen. Pans were being rattled around. The tap was being turned on and off. Repeatedly. And V was wailing away in his high-chair, clutching his bottle, naked (except for a diaper) with his damp hair sticking up…

Apparently he had just had a bath. And M thought it would be a good idea to stick him in his high-chair diaper-clad.

And then make him mashed potatoes.

Now I know more women than men are reading this. Well, I am pretty sure anyways….. But lets follow the logic on this one….. fresh from the tub, squeaky-clean, that lovely baby smooth skin…

I am sure that the first thing that you are thinking about is how feeding your child mashed potatoes without a bib is maybe the best idea ever!

I returned from my run (luckily) just post-potato fest.

V. Was. Covered.

Hair. Toes. Diaper. High chair. Diaper. Nose (up). Face. Ears. etc etc.

I carried him to the bathroom at arms length, and stripped him down on the bath mat. A trail of mashed potato followed us, quickly eaten by Chewie. A little got rubbed into the bathmat I bought from Ikea a few weeks ago. Potato plus lime green equals poor colour management. Anyways, happily the tub was still full.

Oh wait. I mean unhappily it was still full of dirty, brown cold water. Awesome. So a naked V happily played with cold mashed potatoes that were flaking off his body on our bathroom floor, while Mummy refilled the tub. I might have cursed M just a little. I might have ended up with potato in my hair. And somehow in my armpit…. not sure how it got there, but I am not surprised. Things seem to turn up unexpectedly these days. Zucchini in diaper, potato in armpit. That’s how it goes….

We are still running in full-on teething mode. 4 coming in. Drool. Tantrums ahoy! And the most awesome crying, flailing back-bends you have ever seen in your life!!

Good times over here in Orlando… I think it might take a while until I love potato again…

 

Home Depot of Dads June 29, 2009

dad-blog

Monday night, M and I reclining in the living room.

We have survived. 4 whole days of teething. 4 new teeth coming in. An interesting new habit I like to call ‘Tantrum”. An unfortunate lack of regular naps (he is very stubborn). Oh, and the end of the Cheezie stash in our apartment. It’s been a tough couple of days….

Regardless, we both finished a lovely dish of homemade Pad Thai, a few glasses of red wine and are watching some Burn Notice (which is our latest non-thinking evening entertainment. We watch it while I blog and M plays around on his DS…. fights Ogres, Dragons and Orcs and other things like that.

So tonight I dedicate to my darling M.

Mr Mum, as he is known this summer. Mr Mum is awesome. Every morning V and Mr Mum walk to the park to play. Every morning they meet their new dog friends, Jake and Pretty, on their way to the park. I know they have fun as the stroller comes home covered in some kind of new substance which I think is a combination of grapes, cheese and sand. It is sort of like cement (I noticed it was as I was trying to scrub it off the stroller this evening).

Breakfast and lunch are duly (and lovingly made). Outfits are hastily and poorly put together, but in a wonderful sort of way. Tops and bottoms are the opposite of matching. He would be the Dad that the other Mums in the park oooh and aah over. And bring extra snacks for. And dote on. Man, this could be trouble….. He is rather lost looking and adorable…. that’s M I mean, not V…..

He is such a good Dad. All Dads are good dads, but it is an amazing thing to watch a new Dad at work. M is unlocking abilities that I never knew exsisted in him. He is mastering new levels. His skill level is rising.

And I am playing too much  Mob Wars on FB.

Regardless, M is total Major Dad this summer. He is all schedules,  parameters and other technical terms I can’t think of right now. Everything is organized. Listed. Super organized. M is the Home Depot of organized. And the Lowes of Dads.

It’s shaping up to be an awesome hardware store-filled summer  for the boys…