Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

2nd July 2, 2009

2nd-blog

I just made a bet with myself…and the internet…..

I bet that I can blog everyday. And if  I win, I get a massage from M (he is shouting in the background “Hey! I didn’t agree to that!!!!”….. doesn’t matter, my bet, not his) every night as well! It is shaping up to be an interesting month. My birthday month too.

In a week or so, I hit 33.

33. Man.

This year I am celebrating with tattoos. It is a Cousin-Love date. And by that, I mean that C and I are hitting up Ocala as I have been dying for an introduction to her favorite artist. Who just happens to be from BC as well, which is as random as you can get. A Canadian? In Ocala? Probably there are more of them there, but this is the first I’ve heard of it. As far as I know he is the only one there. Poor lonely Canadian. It’s so hard to befriend the natives….

I think he will make the 3rd Canadian that I know in Florida. I know there are more of you around, sometimes us Canadians are a little shy… we can’t be found at the outlet malls like the British and other Europeans. We are more likely to be found down in the Everglades or at some State Park swimming with Manatees than hitting up the cheap shoe sales…. (although, we totally will check out those sales after we check out the Manatees). Manatees totally come first, especially before a good sale at Premium Outlet Malls…

So how about it, eh? Do you think I can? Every day for a whole month….

Prepare for both riveting, epic posts and mundane boring poop. Oh, and actual poop. Both domestic and canine…

 

Home Depot of Dads June 29, 2009

dad-blog

Monday night, M and I reclining in the living room.

We have survived. 4 whole days of teething. 4 new teeth coming in. An interesting new habit I like to call ‘Tantrum”. An unfortunate lack of regular naps (he is very stubborn). Oh, and the end of the Cheezie stash in our apartment. It’s been a tough couple of days….

Regardless, we both finished a lovely dish of homemade Pad Thai, a few glasses of red wine and are watching some Burn Notice (which is our latest non-thinking evening entertainment. We watch it while I blog and M plays around on his DS…. fights Ogres, Dragons and Orcs and other things like that.

So tonight I dedicate to my darling M.

Mr Mum, as he is known this summer. Mr Mum is awesome. Every morning V and Mr Mum walk to the park to play. Every morning they meet their new dog friends, Jake and Pretty, on their way to the park. I know they have fun as the stroller comes home covered in some kind of new substance which I think is a combination of grapes, cheese and sand. It is sort of like cement (I noticed it was as I was trying to scrub it off the stroller this evening).

Breakfast and lunch are duly (and lovingly made). Outfits are hastily and poorly put together, but in a wonderful sort of way. Tops and bottoms are the opposite of matching. He would be the Dad that the other Mums in the park oooh and aah over. And bring extra snacks for. And dote on. Man, this could be trouble….. He is rather lost looking and adorable…. that’s M I mean, not V…..

He is such a good Dad. All Dads are good dads, but it is an amazing thing to watch a new Dad at work. M is unlocking abilities that I never knew exsisted in him. He is mastering new levels. His skill level is rising.

And I am playing too much  Mob Wars on FB.

Regardless, M is total Major Dad this summer. He is all schedules,  parameters and other technical terms I can’t think of right now. Everything is organized. Listed. Super organized. M is the Home Depot of organized. And the Lowes of Dads.

It’s shaping up to be an awesome hardware store-filled summer  for the boys…

 

Pox June 20, 2009

kitty-blog

M is allergic to cats.

When he first told me this years ago, I thought he was lying. I really thought that he didn’t want to get a kitten/cat, anything of the feline persuasion as a pet. His family is more of a ‘dog’ family. And so years ago when he visited me in Canada and stayed at my parent’s house and started sneezing and rubbing his eyes repeatedly, I finally got the point. He was, in fact, not lying. Surprise!

My dear kitty that I had during University moved in with my parents when I moved to Japan. And when I moved back she continued to stay with them. They love her (as do I, she really is so sweet). On our recent trip to Canada, we slept in their bedroom with V, while my parents stayed in the guest house. There was much talk about making sure to keep the bedroom door closed as Molly-cat loves to sneak in there. Not only is M allergic, but my Step-dad is too so this was doubly important.

Despite all of these precautions (and leaving the bedroom window open all day and night), M still had bouts of sneezing and watery eyes…. it just couldn’t be helped.

One night we were all out on the patio. We had just finished a lovely visit with some family and friends, and were finishing off a quickly put-together smorgasbord of savory treats. There was a nice chill in the air, wine on the table and my sister and I got up to get hoodies and slippers so we could stay cozy while we all chatted on the deck.

I guess M and C must have looked a little cold, as my mum dashed back in and came out carrying 2 woolen blankets which she proceeded to toss on both of them. Satisfied that everyone was cosy and warm, we all continued laughing and joking for another hour or so before heading off to bed.

…….hours later…….. early morning…….

M woke up with his eyes practically stuck shut, sneezing like a mother-f’er, tears running down his face from how itchy his eyes are and totally congested.

“Don’t tell your mother, but I think that blanket has the pox,” he said, “It is my Kryptonite.” Apparently it was covered in cat hair.

I started laughing and thinking of course that I will have to write about this in my blog. M looked at me and I knew he was reading my mind. As soon as he started to say “Jame…..” I said “I will really try to not mention this….really. For real.” I am pretty sure he didn’t believe me. It might have been a little lie on my part…

Downstairs we trudged with V (M trying to hide his sneezes and red eyes). The pox blankets lay on an end table and V was reaching for them. “No honey,” I said, “Don’t touch the cat blankets.” (M evil eyed me in the background for uttering this outloud).

“Cat blanket?” someone piped up…

And then the story unfolded from my Stepdad.

“Ah, yes,” he said, “The cat used to sleep on it. I think we’ve had them for about 30 years and they’ve never been washed. Missy used to sleep on them too.” (Missy was a cat we had when I was in middle/high school)

This history of the pox blanket is revealed! I struggled to not look at M, for fear that the giggle in me would erupt and run totally out-of-control.

I just saved it all up for here instead….

 

StarWars May 31, 2009

starwars-blog

M and I ventured to DisneyWorld today with V…. always fun to do on the weekend, and since we get in for free there is really no reason not to go.

On our arrival I heard some familiar music. I couldn’t place it at first, but the closer we got to the enterance and then as we were walking through the bag-search area it struck me. Star Wars. Oh my….

It was StarWars weekend at Hollywood studios! How did I not know that they did this? I was sure that M would have mentioned it to me since I thought he was ‘Star Wars obsessed’. But, as he told me while we hustled through the crowds,  “I’m not really that into it anymore”. Bullsh*t is what I thought of that statement. Pretty much all men are in love with Star Wars. As they all love Westerns. And The Godfather. And if they protest that they don’t like either of those 3, they are lying!

Once we got through the main gates of MGM (or HollyWood Studios as it’s called now), there was a full-on StarWars parade in action. Storm Troopers all over the place. Chewbacca carrying C-3P0. Darth Vader. Etc.

I personally saw 4 children dressed up as Storm Troopers (and one who’s Mum didn’t do up the back of his costume and his tush was hanging out.) One grown man dressed as as Anakin. One dressed as Obi-Wan. One man pushing a baby stroller coming out of a gift shop dressed up in an orange pilot costume.

V wasn’t interested in anything at all. In fact, we took him to Muppets 3-D Adventure and with all that noise and us trying to fuss with 3-D glasses on his face (for fun) he fell fast asleep on Daddy. Fast asleep. M turned to me and said “He is totally going to sleep like this on the plane.” Oh god I hope so….

Home from the parks, V in bed early, post dinner, M and I are indulging in a ‘True Blood’ marathon. Pretty much the furthest thing away from StarWars that you could ever get. Dare I say that we like it more?

Blasphemy!

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 19, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,sweat,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:44 pm
Tags: , , ,

yoga-blog

Post-yoga thoughts…

Tonight I was feeling very contemplative tonight while I was twisting and sweating. And focused. As I was focusing on myself in the mirror I discovered something about myself… I learned something new about my own body while I was contorting, dripping, flexing and holding my position in the mirror.

I have really small forearms. Seriously short ones.

I am practically T-Rex.

Is that normal?

So off I went to Google to find out….

I either have a form of dwarfism… which I am pretty sure is not true.

Or  I am a teenage body-builder… this is a possibility… I might be either ‘Charliesaurus’ OR ‘teen_muscle3’.

OR I am actually a T-Rex.

Not sure. Must contemplate at next yoga class…..

 

Sans bra May 8, 2009

I think I might have seen a grey hair this past week. Maybe. Or it was my roots growing out….. Regardless, I am now in the process of making sure that it (or they) are never seen by anyone else. I’ll tell ya about it, but won’t let you see it.

Friday night and I am dying my hair. Good times. I am cheap and can’t be bothered to get it done in a salon, and so am doing it in my own salon (my bathroom). This way not only do I not have to wear a bra while I am doing it, but I can have a shower right after. And drink wine during…. perfect…

I am due for application 2 in 3 minutes.

*Pause*

And I am back. For 10 more minutes.

Tomorrow I am venturing to DisneyWorld with a girlfriend. It is a husband-free trip for both of us, 2 babies and one 5-year-old, 2 possible margaritas and, of course, one stop at the Canada pavilion. I have to go every time. I buy over-priced Caramilk bars and watch the 360 panoramic movie starring Martin Short and sing “Canada, My Canada”. Let’s consider it prep for re-visiting the country of my birth… which will take place next month, just after V’s 1st birthday.

It has been about 3 1/2 years since I have been home, my Canadian accent is completely gone, I slur my words, I have an American-sounding ‘a’, I say ‘y’all (and I did the other night and M didn’t even blink) and I haven’t had poutine in I don’t know how long. On the plus side, I have not developed a taste for sweet tea (thank god).

I miss my home sweet home and the thought of showing it to V is amazing. Can’t wait for him to meet his Grandparents and Great-Grandparents, see some proper Ocean and lawns with actual nice grass on them as opposed to the crap stuff we have here. See some trees that are not palm trees, gator-free lakes (bonus). West Coast Action for my boy. Hells ya.

Off to bed, need to get some sleep for that Disney action that I’ll be hittin’ tomorrow 😉

For the Canada pavillion click here

For the Canada, My Canada song, click here

To check out BC, click here

 

Internal Hotness April 28, 2009

Filed under: spandex,tattoos,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:45 pm
Tags: , , ,

yoga-blog

My weekly yoga class was tonight, and you know how much I like to share my post-sweaty class thoughts with you.

Tonight the room was extra hot. I didn’t realize this until I glanced at one of the guys in front of me, and noticed that sweat was dripping off of him onto his towel like he had a leaky faucet built into his hip. It was dripping at a steady rate off the corner of his shorts.

Sweat was rolling off of my elbows, my fingers and sliding down my calves at an enormous rate. At one point, it was slowly running from the corners of my eyes and down onto my cheeks. I imagined (while those sweat droplets hung out on my cheekbones) that I was in prison and I had little tattoo tears dripping out of the corner of my eye.

Just trying to illustrate how hard-core I am about yoga (and hoping  you will ignore the fact that I have only been going for a month and a half).

It was awesome.

Sadly though, Spandex man was not there. Actually I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks. He might have fallen out of love with Bikram. OR he ran out of spandex pants. OR he is actually wearing something else to class and I don’t recognize him because I can no longer see his package in complete and total detail. Probably the last one, eh?

Anyways, the room was so hot that apparently my internal temperature will be higher tomorrow as a result.

Crazy yoga people. I love them all…..