Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

StarWars May 31, 2009

starwars-blog

M and I ventured to DisneyWorld today with V…. always fun to do on the weekend, and since we get in for free there is really no reason not to go.

On our arrival I heard some familiar music. I couldn’t place it at first, but the closer we got to the enterance and then as we were walking through the bag-search area it struck me. Star Wars. Oh my….

It was StarWars weekend at Hollywood studios! How did I not know that they did this? I was sure that M would have mentioned it to me since I thought he was ‘Star Wars obsessed’. But, as he told me while we hustled through the crowds,  “I’m not really that into it anymore”. Bullsh*t is what I thought of that statement. Pretty much all men are in love with Star Wars. As they all love Westerns. And The Godfather. And if they protest that they don’t like either of those 3, they are lying!

Once we got through the main gates of MGM (or HollyWood Studios as it’s called now), there was a full-on StarWars parade in action. Storm Troopers all over the place. Chewbacca carrying C-3P0. Darth Vader. Etc.

I personally saw 4 children dressed up as Storm Troopers (and one who’s Mum didn’t do up the back of his costume and his tush was hanging out.) One grown man dressed as as Anakin. One dressed as Obi-Wan. One man pushing a baby stroller coming out of a gift shop dressed up in an orange pilot costume.

V wasn’t interested in anything at all. In fact, we took him to Muppets 3-D Adventure and with all that noise and us trying to fuss with 3-D glasses on his face (for fun) he fell fast asleep on Daddy. Fast asleep. M turned to me and said “He is totally going to sleep like this on the plane.” Oh god I hope so….

Home from the parks, V in bed early, post dinner, M and I are indulging in a ‘True Blood’ marathon. Pretty much the furthest thing away from StarWars that you could ever get. Dare I say that we like it more?

Blasphemy!

 

Yoga-a-go-go May 19, 2009

Filed under: Bikram,sweat,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:44 pm
Tags: , , ,

yoga-blog

Post-yoga thoughts…

Tonight I was feeling very contemplative tonight while I was twisting and sweating. And focused. As I was focusing on myself in the mirror I discovered something about myself… I learned something new about my own body while I was contorting, dripping, flexing and holding my position in the mirror.

I have really small forearms. Seriously short ones.

I am practically T-Rex.

Is that normal?

So off I went to Google to find out….

I either have a form of dwarfism… which I am pretty sure is not true.

Or  I am a teenage body-builder… this is a possibility… I might be either ‘Charliesaurus’ OR ‘teen_muscle3’.

OR I am actually a T-Rex.

Not sure. Must contemplate at next yoga class…..

 

Sans bra May 8, 2009

I think I might have seen a grey hair this past week. Maybe. Or it was my roots growing out….. Regardless, I am now in the process of making sure that it (or they) are never seen by anyone else. I’ll tell ya about it, but won’t let you see it.

Friday night and I am dying my hair. Good times. I am cheap and can’t be bothered to get it done in a salon, and so am doing it in my own salon (my bathroom). This way not only do I not have to wear a bra while I am doing it, but I can have a shower right after. And drink wine during…. perfect…

I am due for application 2 in 3 minutes.

*Pause*

And I am back. For 10 more minutes.

Tomorrow I am venturing to DisneyWorld with a girlfriend. It is a husband-free trip for both of us, 2 babies and one 5-year-old, 2 possible margaritas and, of course, one stop at the Canada pavilion. I have to go every time. I buy over-priced Caramilk bars and watch the 360 panoramic movie starring Martin Short and sing “Canada, My Canada”. Let’s consider it prep for re-visiting the country of my birth… which will take place next month, just after V’s 1st birthday.

It has been about 3 1/2 years since I have been home, my Canadian accent is completely gone, I slur my words, I have an American-sounding ‘a’, I say ‘y’all (and I did the other night and M didn’t even blink) and I haven’t had poutine in I don’t know how long. On the plus side, I have not developed a taste for sweet tea (thank god).

I miss my home sweet home and the thought of showing it to V is amazing. Can’t wait for him to meet his Grandparents and Great-Grandparents, see some proper Ocean and lawns with actual nice grass on them as opposed to the crap stuff we have here. See some trees that are not palm trees, gator-free lakes (bonus). West Coast Action for my boy. Hells ya.

Off to bed, need to get some sleep for that Disney action that I’ll be hittin’ tomorrow 😉

For the Canada pavillion click here

For the Canada, My Canada song, click here

To check out BC, click here

 

Internal Hotness April 28, 2009

Filed under: spandex,tattoos,tired,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 9:45 pm
Tags: , , ,

yoga-blog

My weekly yoga class was tonight, and you know how much I like to share my post-sweaty class thoughts with you.

Tonight the room was extra hot. I didn’t realize this until I glanced at one of the guys in front of me, and noticed that sweat was dripping off of him onto his towel like he had a leaky faucet built into his hip. It was dripping at a steady rate off the corner of his shorts.

Sweat was rolling off of my elbows, my fingers and sliding down my calves at an enormous rate. At one point, it was slowly running from the corners of my eyes and down onto my cheeks. I imagined (while those sweat droplets hung out on my cheekbones) that I was in prison and I had little tattoo tears dripping out of the corner of my eye.

Just trying to illustrate how hard-core I am about yoga (and hoping  you will ignore the fact that I have only been going for a month and a half).

It was awesome.

Sadly though, Spandex man was not there. Actually I haven’t seen him in about 2 weeks. He might have fallen out of love with Bikram. OR he ran out of spandex pants. OR he is actually wearing something else to class and I don’t recognize him because I can no longer see his package in complete and total detail. Probably the last one, eh?

Anyways, the room was so hot that apparently my internal temperature will be higher tomorrow as a result.

Crazy yoga people. I love them all…..

 

Tan April 19, 2009

Filed under: Florida,tan,Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 10:18 pm
Tags: , , ,

tanline-blog

Little snapshot of Florida…

Today, while M and I were waiting in our car to make a right turn I glanced across the street where there was a Walgreens.

In the parking-lot there appeared to be a fancy white convertible car and two highly tanned people were standing next to it, partially obscured by the bushes that surrounding the lot.

Mrs Tan was lubing up Mr Tan. Not in kind of way, you sickos.

Literally, I mean.

She was actually spreading sunscreen on him in the parking-lot. Smearing it all over his upper body (why was he shirtless at a Walgreen’s?) and his neck, head and face.

I was fascinated by this. Luckily, we were stuck at this light for a while and I could just keep staring.

She did his whole upper body (from what I could see over the bushes anyways). In the parking-lot. “M, what is she putting on his face?! Sunscreen?”. In the parking-lot of a Walgreen’s.

Which for my Canadian readers out there is like lubing up your half-naked body outside of  Shoppers, in Sidney kind of over by the liquor store, in that little plaza in the handicap parking spot…

Already they were the colour of mahogany. Leathery skin so leathery you could see it across an intersection of a 6-lane road, through bushes and through a parking-lot. Thank god they decided to use some ‘screen’. Lord only knows where this would have gone.

Ahhhh, Florida….

 

True story (creepy post-script) April 18, 2009

Filed under: creepy,late night,V — Ohdeerestme @ 11:09 am
Tags: , ,

creepyphone-blogI woke up at 12:30 last night…. V has a little cold and was a bit congested and as a result he woke up crying a few times.

12: 30 was one of them.

As I rolled out of bed and started making my way down the hall I noticed that the toy bin was flashing. I leaned over to peek in and all of the lights on the telephone were flashing.

AND it was talking.

I swear to god it said “Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop…”

I carried it out of my bedroom by the plastic anntenae with the sounds of my son crying and the telephone repeating “Stop stop stop” mingling together

I deposited it on the kitchen table and will have Mike take it out with the trash when he leaves for work this afternoon. I can’t handle the creepy vibe anymore….

 

Creepy April 17, 2009

Filed under: creepy,holy mother,tired,Uncategorized,what the? — Ohdeerestme @ 10:08 pm
Tags: , , ,

creepy-blogI have a little toy basket in our bedroom for the odd toys that end up in our room.  I think currently there is a plushie fish, a bear and a plastic telephone.

The telephone has little pictures on the buttons and talks when you push them.

“Car”

“Baby”

“Cup”

And in spanish too!

It makes animals noises too. It meows and barks and growls. V loves it and gnaws away on it, pushing the buttons with his face and teeth.

I think it’s been in the bedroom for about a week or so. Last weekend it started meowing during the night. Woke me right out of a dead sleep.

I lay there, half awake wondering what on earth I had heard that had woke me up. I am such a light sleeper since V entered our life, I wake up at a heavy sigh.

Anyways, it meowed. Repeatedly. Often enough that I remembered it in the morning. I turned it off sometime during the night and thought that was the end of it.

The other night I noticed a dull light emanating from the toy bin. With a closer look, I realized that it was the telephone. One of the buttons was lit up. The one that has a picture of a baby on it. And the power was off.

And then it started meowing again. I ignored it. It happened with less frequency. I forgot.

And then last night it meowed again.

What the heck? I mean seriously!! I turned it off! It is off! OFF! Why is it still meowing!

Clearly it is possessed. It is some kind of Stephen King-cat possessed telephone. Our apartment complex must be built over a pet cemetary or something. (Thanks Shannon for your cat-possessed phone!)

And yet after a week and a half of this meowing telephone…. it is still in our bedroom. Too much work to move it.

 

Bikram, eh! April 13, 2009

Filed under: Canada,spandex,sweat,The South,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 10:09 pm
Tags: , , , ,

southern-blogJust back from another class, where I sweated my balls off (if I had balls, that is).

Essentially, it was awesome. I saw sweat drip off my body at a rate that I had never seen before. It was like heavy rain dripping off of the leaves on the plant by my front door. Like pearls falling off and hitting and bouncing on a dance-floor (as that is where all pearl necklaces get broken). It was non-stop.

I twisted my spine. I bend my back all over the place. I massaged my colon with my knee (I know you are thinking “She did what?!” And also “Gosh, she is so flexible!”).

I tasted colours.

Delicious.

Even Spandex-man was there, sadly in the same outfit as before. I was hoping for an Easter-themed spandex outfit. I am getting a little tired of the pale blue.

As much as I love yoga, I miss seeing V at all after work as I head from work pretty much right to class. And he is in bed by the time I get home.

M and I were chatting over dinner, and I was planning tomorrow evening and how I am going to hog little man. Keep him all to myself. Just soak up all that ‘Mummy-adoration’ and giggles.

“I think I’ll take him to the Park”, I said to M. Except I didn’t say ‘Park’.

I said ‘Perk’.

I also say ‘Caffeee’. Instead of ‘Coffee’.

And ‘soda’ instead of ‘pop’.

Oh, and ‘Ent’ instead of ‘Aunt’.

And of course ‘ma’am and sir’ to all the lovely ladies and gentlemen. Only the polite thing to say down here in the ‘Sauth‘. (To learn more about how to act like a proper Southern lady or gentleman, and also how to build a ‘Chicken Ark’ of your very own,  check out the above link)

I haven’t ventured into the ‘Honey-child’ or ‘sweetie’ quite yet. But I imagine that it’s on the way.

Hopefully a week in Canada this summer will sort this out right and proper. Bring back my crisp sounding letters. And my eh’s. Eh?

 

Peeps April 12, 2009

Filed under: Canada,Uncategorized,yoga — Ohdeerestme @ 8:30 pm
Tags: , , ,

I get frustrated with myself when I feel writers block coming on. I mean, I set aside a specific time to write and fully believe I should be able to come up with something terribly clever in that time frame.pink_peeps-blog1

Tonight, however, I am feeling the pressure. And that pressure is the lure of the sofa in the living room with my husband comfortably ensconced on it, all ready to queue up the blue-ray player. Plus the pressure of Monday looming on the horizon. It is not that I dislike Monday’s, per se….. just that this weekend, it arrived rather quickly.

It is now 8:01 pm.

I can hear V’s lullabies through the baby monitor as I sit here in the dark of the bedroom and type this nonsense. It’s very soothing, and I feel my mind drifting. 8:03. That took 2 minutes to write. Shit.

Probably that drift is being helped along by the 3 sugar-rimmed cocktail glasses full of Cosmo’s that my husband made at his parent’s house for me. They were so pink and delicious. Like eating Peeps. Not, actually, that I think they are delicious. But they can be pink, some people think they are delicious and they would have looked adorable mounted on the side of a Cosmo. Anyways, they suited Easter just fine.

Peeps.

Amazing things.

Amazing things that people think up to do with them.

Have you been here? You should. Every day the Internet is a learning experience for me.

8:05. Shit. Shit.

Probably they are also contributing to my mild profanity.

8:07. Sh*t. Times 3.

I have given myself a time limit of 8:15, and have approximately 6 minutes left.

Quick!! Come up with something clever!

Blank. Literally, I am watching the clock change minutes, and then cursing under my breath. Clearly this will be a no picture blog. This post might be worse than last nights?

Bikram yoga tomorrow night. Any bets on what colour spandex my favorite classmate will be wearing? Pale yellow? Light orange?  Light pink? Gosh, I can hardly stand the wait.

Self imposed time limit has expired. I would totally get my pencil taken away from me if this was one of those grade 12 Provincial exams in the gym.

Way past the dead-line now. Too much time spent looking at Peeps website.

 

Google or I am tired on Saturday night April 11, 2009

Filed under: busy,fancy,Mad skills,random,Uncategorized,whole foods — Ohdeerestme @ 10:34 pm
Tags: , , ,

I dyed Easter Easter eggs for the first time in maybe 25 years.

I did not make these...

I did not make these...

I am tired.

What?!

What?!

Whole Foods is a crack-like addiciton.

Whole food google result

Whole Foods google result

People are too excited about eating yogurt.

How ‘Hannah Montana The Movie’ got the tag “best movie of the year’ I will never know

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

Pre-Hannah Montana sweet mullet

And a lovely website I found while google-ing ‘Billy Rae Cyrus mullet’….. this might be the oddest thing ever. Be sure to read their ‘FAQ’s’. You will learn sooooooo much