Adventures in Motherhood

Me, rambling about motherhood and my ridiculous life…

Banana (genius!) June 21, 2009

banana-blog

I thought a lot about flying with V before our actual trip. A lot.

I MIGHT have over-thought everything, just a bit. I was really trying to think about things to do with him on the plane, but with a one year old that is a little tricky. Things that would work on older and younger children I didn’t think would work with him.

He doesn’t sit still ever.

And hates being held quietly and rocked like a younger child possibly would. Oh, and screams when falls asleep.

So a lot of thought went into what to take in that diaper bag of mine.

Snacks, toys, bottles and juice. That is pretty much what I had. Oh, and a banana.

The Banana, or  the herbaceous plants of the genus Musa, is cultivated primarily for its fruit.

Bananas are grown in at least 107 countries. In  popular culture and commerce, “banana” usually refers to soft, sweet “dessert” bananas. The bananas from a group of cultivars with firmer, starchier fruit are called plantains. Bananas may also be cut and dried and eaten as a type of chip. Dried bananas are also ground into banana flour.

Although the wild species have fruits with numerous large, hard seeds, virtually all culinary bananas have seedless. Bananas are classified either as dessert bananas (meaning they are yellow and fully ripe when eaten) or as green cooking bananas.

V loves them, which was why I brought one. And spur of the moment, I decided to give the whole thing to him, skin and all to eat.

Holy burst of motherhood genius!!

That banana kept him occupied for about 25 minutes. I peeled the the skin back and let him hold the whole fruit, the skin draping down over those plump little fingers.

He was enchanted.

That little mouth didn’t know exactly what to do with it though. He tried to bite it with those 8 little teeth, but didn’t have much of an effect on the banana. He tried again, and managed to get some of the fruit in his mouth. With each bite he grew braver and braver, finally managing to take a whole mouthful of the fruit in one bite.

Banana was everywhere. How nice that I decided to save this moment for his first airplane ride, eh? It was on the airplane phone, the window, me, the seat in front of us, me again, him, all over him and his seatbelt and also my hands. I actually had a collection of banana pieces in my hand, the ones he didn’t feel like keeping in his mouth and spat out. Now normally I would just drop them on the floor and shout “Chewie!!! What’s this!!!” and our dog would come running and eat it.

That doesn’t quite fly on an airplane (harhar). So I just collected those little soggy bits in the palm of my hand and waited patiently for M to finish his diet soda so I could deposit them.

So word to the mothers out there. Bananas are genius for domestic flights!

Don’t, however, try and take one through customs entering the USA without declaring it, or you will be subjected to the excitement that we were (bag searches, flagged for the ‘short’ customs lineup (aka longest line ever with super strict scanning people) and having your bag swabbed for bomb residue). If you do bring any fruit through from Canada to the USA, make sure that it has the sticker on it. Apparently Canada imports from some countries that the USA doesn’t, and this is a huge issue.

Apart from that whole kerfuffle, I am a wellspring of motherhood genius! Banana! Genius!

 

Flirt June 19, 2009

Flower V-blog

Traveling with anyone gives you a great sense of how you relate to them…

When M and I traveled together for the first time, I knew immediately we were destined for marriage…

(ha! Just kidding!! I think I was all annoyed at him for something. So nothing has really changed since then. However, we travel really well together)

When Mum and I went to Kyoto for a wee trip (and actually the whole time she stayed with me in Japan, it was the same deal. We had no problems that we couldn’t resolve) We travel well together too.

We had never traveled seriously with Little Man before and, as we were soon to discover, traveling with children is interesting.

Our flight to Vancouver was a 2-parter, Orlando to Chicago/Chicago to Vancouver.

Part One: Disaster

Involving screaming, screaming, screaming. Break. (Involving eating). Screaming, screaming, screaming. Deplane.

It. Was. AWFUL.

Part Two: Tsunami

Waves and waves of screaming/quiet, screaming/quiet. AWFUL. This went on for 3 hours.

In the Customs lineup, someone from our flight leaned over the railing in front of us and said “He didn’t really sleep that much, did he?”. Um, no. No he didn’t. Thanks for pointing that out. I hadn’t noticed at all.

In between the bouts of screaming and sleep were these rather interesting moments, where V was assessing the cabin. He likes to make eyecontact with everyone and when he does he breaks out into the hugest, most flirtatious smile you have ever seen. Those big brown eyes of his are so engaging…

So full of charm, in fact, that one Flight Attendant declared that we might be related as V apparently looked just like her brother, and she doted on him the entire flight. Her co-worker declared him to be “The Cutest Baby I have Ever Seen” (and, she also said, ‘I have seen a lot’). Of course M and I soaked this all up… (and might have preened a little as well).

And it went on and on… People…. well, women really, peering around corners and stating that he was gorgeous. That he was flirting with them. And just giggling inanely and waving like idiots….

And this is when I got the first inkling that I might have given birth to a future heart-throb…..

Right now it is adorable. Charming. Makes my heart burst… 15 years from now? It will probably make my heart break.

 

Pomp and Circumstance June 8, 2009

Filed under: busy,cousin,family,fancy,happy,late night,Mummy,parenting,V — Ohdeerestme @ 9:48 pm
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party-blog

A first birthday party is a big deal, as I was soon to discover. To be honest, its something that has been on my mind  for the past 6 months. This party has gone through many any reincarnations. It started out as an 80’s themed party (and in retrospect, what on earth was I planning), moved onto a ‘Star’ themed party and then just moved into a ‘party’ themed party.

I was even going to make mix-cd’s as party favours until Mike and I listened to what I had so far and we realized that I have crappy taste in music. I mean, we already knew that (seriously, who buys the Aqua cd and enjoys the other songs on it apart from “Barbie Girl”).

Regardless, I finally worked out what I wanted to do, bought everything (frequent trips to Target, BJ’s and Costco), had frequent chats with my mother-in-law re: invitations and organization.

Every question I asked M was answered like this “Whatever you think is best” or like this “That sound’s like a great idea honey!”, but no actual input. That’s fine. We all know how much I like lists and planning 🙂

Lets just say that I stayed up way too late the night before (cousin love, really, ain’t such a bad thing) and got up way too early. And then baked things all morning. And decorated. And fought some nasty woman in the party store for balloons. AND won. And walked victoriously out to the parking lot where I fought to get those balloons in my small car. Where approx 1/5th of them popped. Awesome.

Anyways, I am pretty sure I worked myself up into a right and proper state. Surprising? No. Not really.

It’s genetic.

This is a cautionary tale to those parents who have yet to experience the first birthday party.

Examples:

Do not make a commemorative cd.

Do not invite 30 people.

Do not expect your child to think cake is awesome.

Also do not expect your child to enjoy having 30 people clapping and staring at him in unison.

Forget to drink water. And forget to eat as you are fussing over everything so much.

And finally, expect to be totally exhausted, so thoroughly exhausted that perhaps you need to take a nap. And take one. For real.

I did.

And I felt much better.

I still need a few days to recover though. It’s almost the equvalent of hitting up the bars Saturday night when you are about 23. Think headache, exhaustion and inability to eat anything (except that nasty nacho cheese you can get at 7-11).

So ladies (and gentlemen) plan these parties carefully. And post-first party, think ahead carefully to next year. Now you have experience…. you can survive…

 

Canadian Training June 3, 2009

Filed under: Canada,family,parenting,Uncategorized,West Coast,whole foods — Ohdeerestme @ 9:09 pm
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training-blog

V is currently sleeping with blankets. I am calling this ‘training for Canada’ as it is not as warm as it is down here in Florida. Let’s face it….. nothing is….

I even bought him long pajamas for those ‘harsh Canadian summers’ (as M terms it). But it IS cooler!

AND I even bought him shoes. Shoes that fit (although one pair looks ridiculously large on those little fat feet). There was no way that we were flying into another country with my child barefoot. And also no way that I would be paying $25 for a pair of baby-crocs. It’s bad enough that I spent $25 on a metal water bottle. I can use that forever. But $25 on a pair of shoes that, let’s face it, will only last him 10 days is hard to handle….

The reason I was looking at Crocs is that they apppeared to a sort of ‘multitasking shoe’ and I am all over the multitasking idea. Sort of a summer*slash*winter (in FL, that is)with socks shoe, that won’t suddenly not fit him overnight (because of the heel strap, I am thinking). But $25? I think not. I almost got sucked into the ‘Whole Foods’ web of entrapment on Saturday…. I managed to walk past the expensive water bottles (because lord knows I couldn’t excuse a second one) and walked right into the baby-Crocs aisle. But I resisted…. stayed strong….  I would have been laughed at forever if I returned from Whole Foods with another expensive purchase.

Blankets…. check!

Shoes….. check!

He is now conditioned for those rough Canadian summers. He wears shoes like a champ and can snuggle with blankets like a pro…

He is on a Maple syrup diet too, and smells deliciously sweet all the time. I really could lick his little cheeks everytime I smell the syrup on him. Such a delicious way for small children to smell. And taste.

Just wait until he tries it on Nanna’s wheat-free pancakes…. And she gets a whiff of that delicious smell on his cubby little face. She will lose herself in love with him just like I am…..

 

Shoeless May 16, 2009

Filed under: annoying,holy mother,Mad skills,Mummy,patience,shoes,Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 9:11 pm
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feet-blog

This morning as I struggled to put shoes on V’s little chubby feet, I realized that we had a problem….

The problem was that the shoes didn’t really fit. But that’s ok, I crammed them on anyways and somehow managed to do the Velcro strap up. I made them fit because I had bought them about 2 weeks ago and at that time they were too big. I can hardly believe that his feet grew that much in such a short period of time.

When M and I lived in Japan, M had problems finding shoes that fit him. Men’s feet are just not that big over there. And, well, his feet are BIG. The one place that he found to buy sneakers had the larger shoes arranged in a section entitled “Big Feet!”, with a sign exclaiming that and a huge arrow pointing down from the ceiling at the shoe selection (with a giant foot hanging over the area too). So pretty much the most embarrassing place ever to buy shoes. He didn’t go that often.

I think it’s those Italian genes, genes which V has clearly inherited as it basically looks like I cloned M into a baby. Really, they look so much alike. So it makes sense that the feet would be part of the whole package.

It is a little annoying to buy shoes and have them not fit 2 days later (slight exaggeration).

We had a few pairs of Robeez (which I love), but the last time he wore them (last weekend at Epcot) they left the most awful redmarks on his little feet which made me feel like the worst Mummy in the whole world. So those are going into storage. Bummer. They fit so well and once they warmed up to his body temperature they clunge nicely to his feet and were so flexible.

Cutest shoes ever though. If you haven’t checked out their website, click here

So that’s the gist of it. My son has huge feet. I am resigned about it. And he has no shoes.

Ok, well, he could have shoes if I wanted to spend lot’s o’money, but since I am cheap, right now he has no shoes that fit. He’s my ghetto baby… no shoes, and soon…. no shirt and pants and only a diaper. And by then I am sure I will also be shoeless, out of a job, on medicaid and welfare and pregnant again. And all because my son has big feet.

For Ghetto baby names (and an indepth discussion), click here

For a longer list of ghetto names, click here

For the Ghetto, click here

 

Bats in the cave April 26, 2009

Filed under: boogers,health,Holy Grail,parenting,V — Ohdeerestme @ 5:09 pm
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booger-blog

Such a charming expression I picked up in Japan from an Englishman…. it always made me laugh. Right now it aptly describes V’s ongoing condition and my latest obsession…. and obsession is the best way I know how to describe it.

Currently we are embroiled in the midst of a nasty cold. So on top of the wheat and peanut issues, we are now dealing with mild asthma and the introduction of a nebulizer. V is on a course of antibiotics for his ear infection and some steroids for the asthma.

The fun never stops at the ‘perfect health’ bus-stop over here!

For those of you not familiar with this phrase, it refers to boogers (visible ones, that is). I am not going to mince words here. And my following details might be a little graphic….mostly about baby boogers, so I think you all (y’all) can handle it.

V’s little nose is so congested and runny right now that the booges are forming a booge barrier just inside his nose. It’s like a beaver dam or something. Stacks and stacks of boogies, drying up and piling on top of each other. And it seems to happen in a matter of minutes. It feels like I just clean up this icky nose, when it happens again.

Clearly the boogers are ganging up on me.

Hence my obsession. And, of course, like all babies, V hates anyone fussing with his nose. And so I have to pin his head in one place while I use a wet wash-cloth (as this is the only way to knock down that beaver-dam) and scrub and scrub and scrub at his boogie nose.

There is crying and hitting (him hitting me, that is), some shrieking as well. It’s so unpleasant. But once it’s done, it’s done. And all is right in the world. V immediately forgets about it, and life is good.

It reached a point this afternoon that was rather ridiculous.

There I was, scrubbing away, V shrieking, me desperately trying to get that last boogie. Finally, I went right in with my fingers and pried that sticky huge thing away from his face.

“Aha!!!”, I exclaimed, “Gotcha!” and I held it triumphantly up in the air in our dining-room, like it was the Holy Grail or the Sword in the Stone or some other monstrously important artifact.

Yes, that’s right, I am indeed a booger archeologist.

Going where no man (but plenty of mummies, I imagine) has gone before.

M mumbled “Good job” from the living-room while he played wrestling on our PS3. Clearly he was not impressed by my ‘score’.

Anyways, then I realized that I had a booger on my finger (and one that wasn’t mine) and quickly went over to the sink and washed it off.

Again, ahhh motherhood…..

 

How to Daddy April 24, 2009

Filed under: Daddy,Mummy,parenting,Uncategorized — Ohdeerestme @ 9:39 pm
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father2-blog

My husband and I do things completely different. Cooking, (diapering obviously), cleaning and parenting. I am sure it is the same in every relationship whether children are involved or not.

When M has ‘Daddy-duty’, which is a few nights a week while I do things like go to yoga or go running, all bets are off. And I mean all bets….

Feeding V does not require a bib. Ever.

Because “Bibs are for babies and we are real men”… and that is practically a quote.

It makes me laugh every time he says it. However, squash, sweet potato and pea stains on his crib sheets from vegetables on his pj’s? *sigh*

V’s bath-time becomes a water battle-ground. At least 6 wash-cloths get used to clean that little plump body. And at at least 3 towels are used to dry it. (mini-secret: I hate laundry)

Everything is done in this super-jocular voice, which is really rather funny.

The other night I heard him reading to V, and it was the cutest thing. One of those ‘Bright Babys’ board books. Lots of brightly coloured pictures of animals, with the word below the picture.

So I heard things like this….

“Look! It’s a lion! Rawr!!!”

“A baby chicken says ‘Peep peep!'”

“A macaw! What the heck is that doing in this book?”

“A guinea pig! That’s what we test!”

I did a double take at the baby monitor when I heard the last….. it made me giggle.

V was having the time of his life, listening to Daddy read him stories. And then in the middle of all this fun, Daddy shouted in a jolly kind of manner  “All aboard the sleepy train!”. And put V to bed.

Just like that.

I think V was in shock. Usually there is some rocking, some cuddling, big kisses and some sweet talk before bed with Mummy. With Daddy, however, there is none of that. Just straight to bed.

It just struck me as funny.